As a sales associate at a retail store, I like to dress up and look my best.
Here are 5 things that my manager did that made me feel uncomfortable AF:
Maybe they are just being friendly but this made me question, where is the line dividing professional, casual, and inappropriate behavior?
1. Calls me nicknames
I rarely like when I'm called by a nickname (except a bf), but when my manager, whom I barely know, calls me “sweetheart” and “my beautiful”... umm.. no. I get when you say you’re being comfortable with me and you're just being “sweet,” but after I let you know that it makes me uncomfortable, instead of stopping, you tell another male manager to join you. I find that inappropriate.
2. Blatantly checking me out
I understand that when I dress up I sometimes wear a short skirt or a low cut shirt, but bro, you’re married and with a kid. When I call you out on it, you reply that “what my wife doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.” um… I find that inappropriate. Check yourself.
3. “I miss you" texts
As my manager, you can definitely ask for my work schedule. But when you see that we aren’t scheduled for the same shift, you text me "I miss you" and "when will I see you again?" Definitely expect no more replies back because... umm no. That's inappropriate.
4. Asking to meet alone on the weekend
I would be happy to meet for a work event or with a group of coworkers. But when my (married) manager messages me to meet just the two of us at a bar on a Saturday night, I awkwardly responded that I'm busy. Because he’s the boss of me I responded kindly, but honestly bro, go hang out with your wife and kid on your time off…... I find this very inappropriate.
5. Gossiping about other employees
You are a manager, someone who's supposed to lead us and be an example. But why do you try to gossip with me about other coworkers? I don’t care who did what on the weekend, what someone did with their boyfriend, or who fought with who. I’m not interested… Please be more professional.
I personally prefer to keep my relationship with my managers professional at work. If the manager claims he was just joking around and being comfortable, am I overreacting to such behaviors? Is it the moment that I feel uncomfortable that his friendly behavior becomes inappropriate? Or are his action itself inappropriate?
So my question remains: where is the line dividing professional, casual, and inappropriate behavior?