As a young woman exploring the dating world, I have quickly come to realize the difference of a boy falling in love with your body and a man falling in love with your heart. Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that boys will say whatever they can to get whatever they want no matter how selfish or hurtful their words may end up being.
As girls we tend to immediately leap head first when we hear the words "I love you" or anything of that sort. We die when it comes to long messages, "Good Morning, beautiful" texts and when a guy obsesses over how perfect we are. Even I let these things go to my head I instantly have to catch myself from falling into the trap of these overused male strategies.
Although it is never easy and you can't control the way your heart feels, you can always look at a few things to see whether a guy is in love with your body or is falling in love with your heart. You can tell by the way a boy talks to you, the way he listens, the way he comforts and cares and the way he tries to understand and accept the person that you are.
There are a few red flags that immediately should make it clear to any girl that a boy has no desire to seek your heart. If a boy is constantly using the terms hot and sexy to describe you as well as other girls in your presence, he's probably not ready to settle down and he most definitely is looking at your body because your heart is not sexy or hot, it is genuine and beautiful.
Also, if a boy has no desire to listen about your awful day or your best friend who stabbed you in the back last week, he isn't seeking you heart. A boy who falls in love with your soul will never fail to listen and will always be aware of your feelings and will be ready to comfort you. He will do whatever he can to put a smile on your face and will constantly try to learn about you by listening and having conversations.
A question you should ask yourself when dating someone to determine what they want from you is where do you as a couple spend most of your time? If the answer is the bedroom, he isn't and probably never plans on falling in love with your heart or learning the you underneath your skin. A boy who is seeking your heart will take you on adventures, will take you somewhere to watch the stars and will do things that you love to do or take you places you love to go. He will adore spending quality time together, and he will enjoy doing things other than staying at home all the time. A boy who seeks your heart will show you off to the world and will show the wonders of the world off to you.
A boy who is seeking your heart will pay attention. He will remember things like your birthday, your favorite color and your favorite order from Chick Fil A. He will find interests in things that you love and start to point it out when seen like Lilly Pulitzer or the newest song by Luke Bryan just because he knows it'll put a smile on your face. And if he's really in it for your heart and he pays attention to your entire world and the people in your life he may even remember your moms favorite flowers, your dads favorite football team or your little sisters favorite candy bar for a surprise midnight snack. A boy who falls in love with you will soon begin to learn all of the good and the ugly parts of your life down to every little detail, and he will run with them and love you unconditionally.
As it comes down to the reality of whether a boy is seeking your body or your heart, if he is pushing you to have a physically intimate relationship before you are ready or desire to do so, he isn't seeking your heart. If that is the first thing a boy is looking for in your relationship and can't wait for you, he isn't worth it.
A boy that is worth it will want to fall in love with your core, your heart, your laugh, personality and the way you smile when he does something completely ridiculous. He will fall in love with the way you make up words, and sing at the top of your lungs to "Hello" by Adele in the car, and he will adore the way you french braid your hair, even if it makes you look like your five because you're cute and that makes you who you are. Any boy that is seeking your heart will never try and change you, he will fall in love with you fully and wholeheartedly with no exceptions.
My challenge to girls who are currently experimenting in the early dating world as I am, is to look out for these boys. Guard your heart and be there for each other. Fall in love with yourself and know who you are. You will never need a man regardless, but be patient and wait for God to send you the very special man who deserves you and proves to you that he is there to fall in love with you from the inside out. Stand firm and if a boy ever tries to pressure you into doing things you know you aren't ready for or says things to make you fall for him for his own benefit, just say no. Support your friends in saying no as well. Ladies, you are worth so much more than you will ever imagine, so love yourself and never settle for a boy who falls in love with your body, but wait for a man who falls in love with your heart.
