To The Man She's Going To Leave

To The Man She's Going To Leave

And as she writes her goodbye note, profound sadness comes into her heart and tears roll down her face, she hesitates...
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She's going to leave you.

If you keep acting the way you do, she's going to leave and never look back.

She's going to pack up her things and move on. She's going to see that she deserves more than a few hours when "you have time." She's going to cry the whole time but she is leaving you. You need to change. She tried to be okay with the way things were, she tried to change her own mindset, and she gave you thousands of chances. She wants to be with you but you only focus on yourself. As she cries herself to sleep at night, she hopes and prays to a God she doesn't even believe in that you'll give her what she needs. She needs you and your love. That's all. It's so stupidly simple.

She needs you to be there for her in her times of need, like she is there for you.

You're losing her. Every time she comes in last, it pushes her farther away. When your ex is more important than she is. She knows you have parental responsibilities and they should be first, but your ex shouldn't be second. When you ignore her for hours and all she needs is love and reassurance. She never sees or hears from you on the weekends because you are too busy with your other life.

She is going to leave you. The wounds on her heart are becoming too deep and she can't handle always hurting. She can't handle that she hasn't met the most important people in your life, when all she does is include you in hers. She wants to be your family, not an afterthought, not a chore to do. She can't handle the state of this relationship. And as she writes her goodbye note, profound sadness comes into her heart and tears roll down her face, she hesitates. She hesitates...

But then she steels her spine and she leaves. She walks out of the office you met in, she walks out of your life, and she pushes you from her heart and mind. She buries the pain so deeply, she forgets you and meets a new man, one who loves her but who she doesn't love back because you're the one she wants, even as she begs her heart to let go. Please, let go.

She gave you a world of chances. She gave you every opportunity. She tried to pretend you and your ex were over. She ignored how you still went to your ex whenever your ex called, despite knowing it killed her. It killed her. She tried to not feel the way she did but you never thought about her feelings. You only thought about how it was hard for you.

You are going to realize too late that she was leaving you. You're going to call her and she won't pick up. You're going to text her and you'll see she saw it but decided to not to answer, despite the fact she stared at it for hours, heart breaking all over again.

She decided to leave you.

It was so hard. It was so painful and if you think for a second she doesn't love you so much, then you're even more lost than she thought. She had to choose: her or you. She chose herself because she needed someone to choose her. She had to look out for herself because no one else did. You never did.

"She had a world of chances for you, chances you burned through."

She's going to leave you because you made it to the end of the chapter, but not to the end of the book. She'll find her prince charming and you'll be the frog waiting for a kiss that will never come.

In the end, you have no one to blame but yourself.

She left you.


Inspired by Selena Gomez's "The Heart Wants What It Wants"

Cover Image Credit: Yahoo.com

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Falling In Love Is Easy But Staying In Love Is Harder

You never see it coming and then unexpectedly, it all catches up, and you eventually realize that there is no turning back.
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Over the years that I have dated, I have fallen in love twice and stayed in love once.

The first time it happened, I was naive, emotional, and idealistic. However, in the end, I was left extraordinarily broken and unaware. For the most part, I spent a lot of time thinking about why things did not work out how we intended. It was easy until it was not.

The second time I fell in love was quite the opposite experience I went through the first time I fell in love. I was very cautious, skeptical, and built an emotional fortress for protection. Eventually, it all came crumbling down, brick by brick, until I was back to a familiar place. All that mattered was that he and I were happy and that everything felt right.

That is what falling in love is. It is a natural high, a rush of intense emotions -- anticipation, warmth, euphoria, and fear -- that takes you by force.

You never see it coming and then unexpectedly, it all catches up, and you eventually realize that there is no turning back. When you find yourself at that sweet spot, you think to yourself, "This is where I want to be. I want to stay right here forever."

As we fall in love, our affections effortlessly motivate us.

These feelings propel us to make some of the most irrational decisions or perform unexpected romantic tasks, like staying up all night talking on the phone despite having exams or an important task you have to do the next day or doing anything to spend a day with him or her.

Emotions, especially love, passion, and happiness are our strongest motivators because we will do anything to maintain them.

However, we often fail to realize that it never lasts. What goes up must come down and sometimes, it can last for a couple of months, and sometimes it can last for a couple of years.

We are often blinded by the illusion that everything good is infinite and invincible. Once you come down and reality sinks, it gets a little tricky.

When the feelings subside, we must work twice as hard to maintain and deepen the relationships.

The emotions become less intense until they stabilize into something that is just part of your everyday life. Without the intensity, the motivation eventually fades, and that is when things start to get comfortable.

Once you are in the comfort zone, the relationship either becomes stale and unappealing, or it evolves into a two-player team depending on what you do next. If you genuinely want to stay in love, choose love -- a choice build on the foundations of communication, acceptance, and selflessness.

It means being honest with your significant other while being true to yourself and understanding that compromises are the key to all healthy relationships. It means connecting and sometimes disconnecting, but always discussing your feelings without blame, assumptions, and insults so that you will never have to go to bed sad or angry.

It means knowing that your partner will make mistakes but always speaking before reacting so that the two of you can learn and grow from the experience. It means that even when you do not feel the love at any given moment, you do not give in to the short-term emotions and will instead behave and communicate with tenderness and patience. Share your vulnerabilities and consciously decide to forgive and move on.

In the end, the effort is in the decisions you make.

Deciding on anything is not easy because it requires consciousness and careful thought, whereas emotions can master you without your consent.

Choosing love is choosing selflessness and taking a much higher road -- a task that is not easily done as we are inherently in it for ourselves.

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Cover Image Credit: Elizabeth Zamudio

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