A new proposal has gained an immense amount of momentum recently. Courtney Xu and Eric Bradshaw, two recent divorcees, begrudgingly collaborated over the birth of a new holiday. “Malentine’s Day,” as they call it, would take place the day after Valentine’s Day.
“And no, it’s not the male equivalent of ‘Galentine’s Day,’” said Courtney in our interview. “It’s a holiday meant for single people and ex-lovers to gloat to couples about the perks of being single and then proceed to quietly cry and be miserable together. While Valentine’s Day is typically held to celebrate being in love and gives couples a chance to give unquestioned public displays of affection, Malentine’s Day would celebrate all of the pent-up frustration, loneliness and misery from being single or recently coming out of a relationship. Essentially, it’s a day for all of us to make everyone else just as miserable.”
When Eric tried to chime in, Courtney quickly shut him down. Fighting was to be expected, seeing as they are recently divorced. We really don’t know what we were thinking when we invited both of them here together at the same time.
We asked Courtney why the name “Malentine’s Day” was chosen, and she replied that “mal' means 'bad,' thus Malentine’s Day.”
Why didn’t they choose a different patron saint?
“We don’t need saints to be sullen; we do it perfectly well ourselves.”
While this portion of the interview was going on, one of our interns did her best to try and coax Eric out of the corner that he had fervently affixed himself to. After our interview, we decided to hit the streets and see what everyday people thought of the idea. We managed to track down a victim who said his name was David King and told us that he “fully supports a day where single people can throw a pie at happy couples. Oh wait, that’s not what it is?”
After we informed him that Malentine’s Day was not the Purge, he seemed less enthusiastic, and ultimately walked away with a dejected look on his face.