I remember growing up and constantly looking at my father and wanting to be just like him. A man-one who was strong, independent, and manly. This is what my definition of a man was. I never questioned how a man was supposed to act or what he was supposed to do, because growing up my father always gave me a strict reevaluation of the do’s and don’ts of becoming a man.
- Men don’t play with dolls
- Men don’t show too much emotion.
- Men don’t cry. (This was a big one)
I wasn’t the toughest kid on the block, but I knew how to conduct myself in a manly manner, especially around my dad. I tried my best to follow these rules. I made sure that if I was playing with a girl who had dolls that I didn't touch them, I made sure that I didn't get overly excited or sad over something in fear of letting out too much emotion, and I made sure that I did not cry (no matter how badly I wanted to). I tried to follow these rules without hesitation, but always ended up breaking one and having to answer to my dad. I was fortunate enough to have a mother that looked past the social norms of what a little boy was supposed to do and looked at what I wanted to do. She comforted me by letting me know that, “Everyone is not the same. All boys don’t play sports, and all girls aren’t cheerleaders. Everyone is different.” What my dad failed to realize, though, was the fact that little boys who play with dolls are considered to be more nurturing towards women, boys who show emotion to others are more relatable and are more likely to have more long term relationships, and boys who cry are not scared to be vulnerable. Why do we constantly try to masculate little boys?
In society, men are held to rigid standards of what is believed to be the proper way to be a man- when in fact there is not a proper way. Not all men are emotionless or tough creatures and those who are not should not be scolded for not being such. Little boys are bullied everyday because they are considered to be “different” for not going along with what society thinks they should be doing. Masculinity is a fragile topic that many men do not want be accused of breaking. Society has made this stereotype truer by creating products that are exclusively for men. The brand Q-tips faced backlash when it released its Q-tips that were just for men. The product was exactly the same as the women’s version, besides the bold letters on the front of the men’s package the said, “Men’s Ultimate Multi-tool”.The reasoning behind the separation of products falls on the idea that men are more susceptible to buy something if the word 'For men' plastered on the front of the product.
Why must we be separated?
If I ever have children, I will be sure to let them express their emotions in any way they see fit. I believe both sexes deserve equal treatment and should not be held to unrealistic social standards of how each sex should act or carry themselves.
