Friendship. A word that seems so simple, but when it's applied to men and women, suddenly, it's not as it seems. Men and women can't be friends. There are so many articles out in the world that blame hormones and pheromones, but apparently, men and women just can't help it. We develop "feelings" for the opposite gender and such is the end of what may have been a beautiful friendship. In this article, I am going to take a look at two different articles that have asked the same question: "Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?" Have we really become almost so self-involved that we assume that members of the opposite gender are automatically interested in us?
Let's start with what is the common answer. One website, Shape.com, asked 13 men and women to get their opinion. Their website claims they asked "real men and women."... Because some men and women are fake? I digress. There was a mixture of answers, but shockingly, most of the answers pointed to "no." Both men and women claimed that one of the friends will always be more attracted to the other, each developing feelings towards the other. They say that they simply cannot help it. One woman claims that all of her male "friends" were deeply interested in her, and by her denying them, she was able to almost keep them at bay and turn their interest into friendship. Is what she saying true, or is she perhaps too involved in her own self-worth?
Meanwhile, on the flip side of the coin, Psychologytoday.com reveals that it is entirely possible to have platonic friendships among genders. This website claims that these stereotypes regarding relations between friends stems from the old ideal that men's place was at work, the woman's was at home, and the only way for their lives to cross was through relations that would eventually turn into marriage. The only reason for men and women to interact was to, essentially, keep lifelines going. There are so few media portrayals of completely platonic friendships, that nobody knows even if they are real or if they are, or how to go about them. There are handbooks everywhere that tells one gender how to "snag" the other. Or have you heard the phrase, "Women are from Venus"? We are not from another planet. The problem both men and women face is seeing the opposite gender as equals, as humans, and not as a completely different species.
The interesting thing about both articles is that they spoke with professionals in the psychology field, and the answers were completely opposite to each other. As a psychology major myself, I find it horrific and sexist for those in article one to not have given enough credit to either gender. While maybe that was the only thing on their minds, perhaps they project their feelings onto the opposite gender without giving them a chance.
