Choosing yourself can be a hard thing to do. Especially if the insecurity comes around and you feel as if you need someone there every second of your life. If you don't have that certain someone, you may begin to consider yourself not good enough for anyone. You can't let that thought consume your life because you are good enough.
1. How it starts out.
Someone may come into your life at one point and make you feel extremely special. You will start talking and since it's a new relationship, everything is exciting. There are butterflies in your stomach and your face lights up whenever that person texts or calls you. Your friends will learn about them and get happy for you. The possibilities are endless, but all you can think about is how great everything is.
2. A couple weeks down the road.
Becoming more intimate can be scary or exciting, all depending on the person. Side note: I have had my fair share of intimacy with many people, but that's how I dealt with the problems in my life. Whether it's hugging them, kissing them or maybe even sleeping with them, no one should judge you for it. It's a very common thing to do and I guarantee the majority of people you see or talk to are doing it also. So don't let them put a label on you because you don't have their "permission."
This special someone will want to go to the next level, but here's the thing, you don't have to. You are allowed to wait as long as you want. It's your body, so if you don't want someone touching it, you don't have to let them. If you want to have sex, do it. Do not judge yourself for it, if it's something you really want to do.
3. You had sex.
Maybe everything is great. Maybe you guys are closer than ever and the future is actually a possibility in both of your minds. You are debating whether or not you want to tell that person you are in love. Those puppy dog names are coming out and you're name is now, babe, honey, sweetie, pooh bear or some other obnoxious name you can think of. The public sees you holding hands when walking around the mall and they see you gazing into each other's eyes. If this is really how it turns out after having sex with this person, I couldn't be any happier for you. It means you found someone special and mature enough. Good for you!
Maybe the sex was everything you had hoped for and you left in a great mood. Then those text messages stop popping up on your phone and you no longer hear that special ringtone you set for him/her. That having a future is definitely not a possibility anymore. Your friends will most likely start bashing on this person to make you feel superior. You will end up in your room late at night, thinking you did something wrong. Your self-esteem will slowly go down and every chance you get, you'll want to make a change to who you are. There's nothing wrong with you, just because you gave into this person that made you feel so good about yourself.
4. Stop giving in.
Like I said previously, if you are comfortable with having sex with someone, then don't feel bad. If you let someone convince you because you don't want to lose them, then stop. Don't let them get into your head saying that you need to have sex with them so you two can be together. Anyone that wants to be with you just because of that should just see their way out of your life because I can't think of anyone that deserves that. Don't sleep with anyone that doesn't respect you and your body. Don't say yes, when deep in your heart there is a little part of you saying you shouldn't. If you give in to this person when you really don't want to, that's the end of it. You are now someone they can call when they want that one thing.
5. Make yourself a priority.
I realized recently that I am worth more than just someone to sleep with. I have decided to move forward and make changes in my life. I want to learn about myself and figure out what's best for me and what I need in my life to become someone special. There's nothing wrong with this either. Sure, you may get some weird looks from people and those people might think you aren't being serious about this, but it's all on you now. It's up to you to make these changes and to make yourself a priority. No one can make you as happy as you can make yourself.
I'm not implying that every situation is like this. In my experiences, the majority is. I have met some incredible men, those men allowed me to feel comfortable with myself and I loved that. I just want to focus on myself. Everyone should at one point in their life. You have to remember that you are more than a piece of meat and you are worth the wait. You are extremely important and if someone can't see that, do you really want that person in your life? Don't put yourself through this situation, it's not worth the heartbreak. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to put yourself first.
