If you ever ask someone about their long distance relationship, they will probably tell you one of three things. They will either lie and tell you it’s going perfectly, break down right there in front of you, or roll their eyes at you because you’re just another person asking about their relationship. I, myself, am guilty of all three.
Long distance gets a hell of a lot of hate. I can’t count how many people have told me it wouldn’t work or to be careful. It is difficult. It is trying. But it’s possible. And with the right person, it’s worth it. There are moments when you see couples dancing together at a party or holding hands while walking to class and you literally want to scream at them for being so happy. Don’t. Bad idea.
For couples at different colleges, there is always going to be someone in the pair who is insecure or timid about not being around that person all the time. New and different friend groups are developed, and it’s easy to get into the mindset that your significant other is going to forget about you. The most important thing is to make sure you’re both in it for the long haul. There’s no way you can start a long distance relationship without having “the talk” about what each of you expects from the other and expect it to work out. Being on the same page consistently is essential.
However, that being said, it doesn’t have to be a huge stressful situation when figuring out the right time to FaceTime, Skype, or call. It’s not the hardest thing in the world. There’s no rocket science involved. When you have a free moment, check to see if they do too. Figure out one day a week where you both have some down time and utilize that.
Communication is key in any relationship (especially distance), but suffocating communication is the exact opposite. Calling them every day even when they’re busy or texting non-stop is annoying and just imposes more stress, as I’ve learned the hard way. Giving each other space throughout the days, months, or years you are apart is what makes the reunion so much more fun.
Don’t neglect the little things. A random text throughout the day, a letter, or flowers every once in a while is always a pleasant surprise and keeps up the spirit of the relationship. And while it is hard to remember to do these things amongst a busy and hectic schedule, I can’t express how important it is. With distance, an extra effort is all that is needed to keep the relationship on track, and without that push there could be a train wreck.
Those in distance relationships always have the idea that a surprise visit is brilliant and the best idea since sliced bread. But…then you show up and they’re running around busy with school, work, etc. and you’re stuck on the sidelines (hasn’t happened to me…yet). Spontaneity is a great idea, as long as it’s well planned. How contradictory is that?
As a three-year long distance veteran, I can’t tell you it gets easier with time. It’s always going to be hard to find a little time during the day to text or call; there are always going to be times when giving up seems like the best thing to do. My advice to you is to not take the easy way out. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder. And, yes, I am going to end this article with a cheesy cliché. Because if there is anything long distance has taught me, it’s that clichés are clichés for a reason.
