Distance Means Nothing When They Mean Everything

Distance Means Nothing When They Mean Everything

It may be hard, but miles won't phase the right relationship.

Long-distance relationships tend to have a bad rep.

Personally, I think it's because people are lazy nowadays and don't want to put forth the extra effort required in a long-distance relationship. Long-distance takes sacrifice, something a lot of people are not willing to do. It's nothing new that relationships are not valued as much these days. Most people are quick to put their needs before anyone else's, which is just not how a relationship is supposed to be.

I'll be honest. I never thought I would be able to handle long-distance. I guess you could say I am a bit needy. I like to see that person, talk to them, be around them, so I never thought texting, calls, or occasional visits would be enough.

But I was wrong.

It's not that these things are enough, it's just that when you find the right person, you are willing to take what you can get.

It's worth it for the right person. So no, I probably wouldn't be able to do long-distance if it wasn't the right person.

Distance is a true test of a relationship's strength. Most likely if a couple can make it through long-distance, they have a good chance at surviving other relationship problems.

Distance teaches you to be thankful, humble, and patient. You become more thankful for the moments that you do get with that person. You become more humble because you realize that this is not only hard for you, but also hard for them, so you think of their feelings more. You become patient because that is what distance makes you.

The old saying is, "distance makes the heart grow fonder," and I fully believe in this.

Each moment in your relationship means more because you share fewer moments.

Space is also a very important concept in distance. Even the most compatible people can't be around each other 24/7 without getting on each other's nerves. Distance eliminates the silly arguments that stem from being around each other too much. When you finally get to see that person, you will be so happy that these petty fights don't occur, or shouldn't at least.

Appreciation. This is also a valuable lesson that distance teaches us. When you're around someone all the time, you tend to overlook the small things. The way your girlfriend always kept your house clean without asking, or maybe the way your boyfriend cooked you dinner for no special reason. You begin to expect these things, which makes you not appreciate them. Distance makes you realize what you have.

So yes, distance is hard. It definitely puts a strain on a relationship. However, if it's for the right person, distance means nothing. When that person means everything to you, distance is just another part of what you have to deal with in life.

You adapt and make the most of every minute you have with that person, because when it is right, nothing as petty as a few miles can stop it.

Cover Image Credit: Sydney Moore

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What My Long-Distance Relationship Taught Me

No one expects to find themselves in an LDR, but it can lead to valuable life lessons.

The summer going into my freshman year of college I fell in love with an amazing guy. He makes me laugh, supports my goals, and reminds me to not take life too seriously. We knew we did not want things to end after just one summer. Unfortunately, his school was six hours away from mine. So, we decided to try long distance.

Dating long distance was a situation I never anticipated being in, but one that I was willing to give a shot. A year and a half later and we now go to the same school. We are lucky enough to see one another every day, something we do not take for granted. Although our days of dating from a distance are in the past, I still reflect on the valuable lessons our LDR taught me.

Patience.

Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you, patience is not one of my virtues. However, being in a long-distance relationship challenged me to develop this trait. Patience helped me deal with the discomfort of living so far apart in a way that best suited my relationship. This self-control taught me that when life gets tough, having the ability to look into the future is valuable. My boyfriend did not run on the same schedule as me so finding the patience to accept that truth allowed us to come up with solutions to any problems that arose.

Communication.

Communication is essential to any LDR. Effective communication is much more than being able to talk though; it is also the ability to listen and understand others. Thankfully with today’s technology, it is easy to connect, whether that be through Facetime, text, or social media. Setting times to be in touch gave us something to look forward to and assured that we were keeping up with what was happening in each other's lives. Additionally, learning to address and resolve problems and conflict over distance prepared us to deal with future challenges in-person.

Trust.

You cannot have a relationship without trust, let alone a happy and fulfilling one. Trust is a two-way street, but when built it results in a tight, strong bond. It means you show mutual respect for each other’s boundaries, resolve conflicts in healthy ways, and show consideration and care. When you live hundreds of miles apart, trust is more important than ever. You cannot control who your partner spends time with or where they go, so you must trust that their words and behaviors will match up.

Creativity.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, finding interesting ways to do new things together can be difficult. Care packages, virtual movie dates, and surprise visits are just a few ways to make memories. By winter break of my freshman year, my boyfriend and I were both anxious to see one another. To add excitment to our reunion, I told him that I had an exam Friday afternoon and would not be home until Saturday. In reality, I finished my exams Monday afternoon. Nothing compared to the look on my boyfriend's face when I showed up on his doorstep Tuesday morning, four days earlier than he expected to see me. It is a memory we fondly look back on to this day and goes to show the difference a little creativity can make.

Commitment.

Commitment is a belief in the permanence of a relationship. Unlike love, it is a conscious decision. Neither one of you will always get your way. Disagreement is inevitable, but the conflict is optional. Finding ways to compromise will help you both to see things eye-to-eye. All relationships will have their ups and downs, but commitment will get you through it.


There will always be people who doubt whether your LDR will work, but what is important is that you trust and respect one another. Long distance is not easy, but as the saying goes, the things we have to work for are often the very things most worth having. In the end, a long-distance relationship can teach you a great deal about yourself and your partner and ultimately strengthen your relationship.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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Thoughts To Prepare For A Change From A Normal Relationship Into A Long Distance One

A couple of things to think about if you're loving someone far away.

Long-distance relationships often receive a lot of speculation about not being successful and being painful for all parties involved. However, I personally believe any relationship, given the right mindset and set of tools can be successful, even ones that involve long periods of separation.

I met my love on a cool fall afternoon, in a gym where I had never expected to find someone I'd love as much as I to her. She was outgoing and beautiful, and I felt I was shy and awkward. Over time, our love bloomed into something more beautiful than a sunset over the ocean on the most beautiful day of the year, and a time came in our relationship where we decided it was worth pursuing long term. With this in mind, we also came to face a truth that we had to consider and prepare for if we wanted our love to last: she would be leaving to join the Navy, and be gone for several months at a time.

At first, it was something we both had to come to terms with in our relationship, and establish that even though it would be extremely difficult and cause us both some hurt, that if we could survive that, our love was true and that nothing could keep us apart for the rest of eternity. These are some things I thought about and still continue to remember as her time of departure approaches.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. There has always been different sayings along these lines, and anyone who has ever missed someone they love or loved knows this to be true. If you love something, let it go; if it comes back to you, it's yours forever. You don't know what you have until it's gone. Both of these sayings go hand in hand with the idea that once something you love and appreciate is gone from you, you learn to appreciate it more, and in ways you never imagined. Simple things that you used to take for granted become things you wish you would've wished had never left you, and this makes you appreciate it so much more once it comes back to you.

Find appreciation in everything, even the bad stuff. Every couple fights, it's a part of being in a relationship and finding what's different about you and the person you're with. Sometimes, you feel like you can't stand to be with the person, but when all is said and done and the smoke clears, you still stand with them at the end of the day and everything that stood between you becomes meaningless. You learn to find that if it wasn't for things like disagreements or pissing someone off, you wouldn't fully understand how much you mean to each other and what it means to work things out and have a feeling of growth. Once everything is taken away from you in the context of a long distance relationship, you miss everything about that person, including the fights.

Know that if the love is real, you're not alone. One thing about really feeling reciprocated love is knowing that if you hurt, they hurt and if they hurt, you can feel their pain and hurt too. Going into a long distance relationship brings about many fears, but the other person will most likely have the same fears as you; the best thing for both of you to do is to trust in each other and your relationship, and push those fears away because the more you help quell the fears of the other person, the more your fears will calm as well.

Don't let fear and doubt ruin something that's perfectly good. As I've said before, long-distance relationships can cause a lot of fears arise: What if we grow apart? What if they find someone else? What if they come back and things aren't the same? It's completely normal to feel these questions, but you cannot let that fear be what drives you apart. If you grow apart, then it was never meant to be because true love knows no distance. As for things not being the same when they return, the fact of the matter is they most likely won't. Time will have passed, and time changes all things. What's important is for you and your partner to be able to adapt and grow with this change, and still find what it is that keeps you together and keeps your love so strong from the beginning.

As we all know, everyone's relationship is different. People love each other in different ways, and no one person can tell someone else how to fix or keep their relationship. My hope with this article isn't to guide every long distance relationship to success, it is simply to give some insight as to what has calmed my mind and heart about the fears and worries and given me confidence about my own relationship. True love conquers all, including distance, and that is the best advice I could give anyone.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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