I recently read an article titled, "Why Dropping My Sorority Was The Best Decision I've Ever Made," and it caused me to reevaluate my feelings towards Greek life for the thousandth time. I've attached the article so that the cause of this one might make a little more sense:

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/dropping-sorority-decision

This article was shared in a group on Facebook and received many comments that seemed to debate one another. One person would express how much they can relate to the article, while another person would feel compelled to explain, "Well, Greek life just wasn't for you," and then continue to boast about how great it actually and *literally* is, as if they didn't intend for their first assumption to be an insult. Someone else would give their sincerest apologies that a chapter would treat a person this way, while another person would reply with something along the lines of, "Sororities are stupid anyways." Jeez. (Insert, like, twelve ginormous eye rolls here.)

Being the type of person who sees everything to be gray rather than black and white, it has been a huge struggle deciding whether I wanted to be that "Go Greek" girl or the "It's not for me" girl. I really relate to both sides, and depending on what day you ask, I'll probably lean towards one side more than the other. Here's my disclaimer: This is NOT a biased article. My experience has been complicated, so let me explain.

First, I want to say that I love my organization in itself: the values, the creed, the philanthropy and giving back, the demand for excellence, and the expectations of being a classy, well-rounded woman. Everything my organization stands for is what I wanted to become. The grade requirement held me accountable for giving my best efforts in academics. The philanthropy taught me the importance and fulfillment of giving back to the community and those less fortunate. The campus involvement requirements pushed me out of my comfort zone. And, in a few different instances, I learned the meaning of sisterhood. With all of that being said, there is a huge difference between your organization and your chapter.

My freshman year was amazing, and I have Greek life to thank for most of that. I was introduced to many incredible people, involved in many campus-wide events, introduced to a very large social scene, and given guidance into this new world that is college. I was always busy, but it was a good kind of busy. I was never alone and never had time to feel alone. I made valuable connections, new experiences, and memories. My love for my sorority was instant, and it seemed to only get stronger.

My second year was a little different. I still loved it, but I felt myself trying to love it. Most of my sorority family was graduating, the exec board was changing, the advisors were changing, and things became a little more political. I was still having the time of my life, but something was different. Maybe the excitement wore off. Maybe it was the cliquiness that I began to see forming. Maybe it was the list of rules that began to grow, were never applied fairly depending on who was breaking them, and went a little too far for any adult in college to follow. Maybe it was the cattiness. I mean, realistically, everyone knows that when a large number of girls is put together, problems will arise. Regardless, there was entirely too much division to be considered a "sisterhood." I considered quitting, but the good still seemed to outweigh the bad; I still had an awesome social life, I still had an outlet to get involved, I still gained a few really special bonds, and I still got to represent an organization that I loved.

My third year, I was struggling to stay involved. I so badly wanted to want to be at the events, socialize with my sisters, and put myself out there. The more I tried, the harder it seemed. Something I loved turned into something I couldn't really recognize. I fully admit that this could have been my own fault. I'm naturally a pretty closed-off person, so my efforts may have seemed larger to me than they seemed to others. In any case, for whatever reason, I lost a little bit of my self-esteem. It may sound pathetic to some, but I think it's safe to assume that anyone who begins to feel alone in a crowd of people they once felt at home with would understand these feelings that aren't very fun to experience.

As much as I hated to feel this way, I was so ready to receive my alumna status and close this chapter of my life. I was more concerned with focusing on my grades, my career, and my future - things that seemed to matter to me more. I want to make it clear that, without my sorority and the experiences it gifted me with, there is no telling how long it would have taken me to prioritize the things that are important. To grow up. To become responsible. Then again, without my sorority, who knows?

With all of this being said, in one hand, I can not express enough gratitude for the experiences, memories, and lessons my sorority gave me. Pretty often, people ask, "If you could go back, would you do it again?" I so badly want to say that I would do it over. But, again, I'm in the gray here.

If you are one of the lucky people who has had no problems fitting in, getting involved, and have had nothing but positive experiences throughout your journey as a collegiate member, that's great. I, too, have made many happy memories that I'll never forget and a few lifetime friends that I could have never imagined finding. If you're one of those people who felt isolated, discouraged, and disheartened, I side with you too. Whatever hand you were dealt, it's okay to feel how you feel. There's really no need for debate, and there's definitely no need to attack others because their views don't align with yours. Greek unity, remember?

Your organization shouldn't and doesn't define you. You are not defined by a group of people, the number of friends you have, the t-shirts you wear, or the letters on your car windshield. If it's for you, that's okay. If it's not for you, that's okay. If you're on the fence, like me, that's okay too. Your sorority won't make you, and it definitely won't break you.