Everyone always tells you that you will find the right person that you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. What they don't tell you is that the person you fall madly in love with could quite possibly end up being 934 miles away from your college town and 1,000 miles from your hometown.
I have always been raised to be independent; my parents instilled in me that I don't need anyone to help me get what I want; however, it is really nice to have someone you can fall back on and talk to about your problems that isn't your mom or dad.
(We don't dress up often and this is about the only semi-recentfamily picture.)
My boyfriend and I currently live roughly 1,000 miles apart. He is in Ohio and I'm in Oklahoma. The thing that makes the distance worth it is that we can pick up the phone and discuss a multitude of things that are happening in our lives, or even what's going on in the news. I'm not saying that the distance is easy by any means. Let's face it, watching him pull away after visiting or me drive away or have to walk through airport security really puts a kink in the mood and I always end up in tears. What I will say is that when you know wholeheartedly that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you will do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Many people ask why we do this day after day, month after month and we both reply with: "The distance is only temporary. We both know what we want and we will do whatever it takes for us to make it."
The thing that makes us different from others is that we both love hard. We are so like-minded to the point that my family finds it scary at times. I think Kahler said it best when he wrote, "Over 1,000 miles between us, countless plane tickets and late-night stops for gas to drive all night. Phone calls and FaceTimes that last for hours on end, lonely events and parties attended but there is one thing I know and that is that I pick you every day for the rest of my life. Waiting doesn't seem all that bad."
(Most of our dates consist of checking cows, looking at baby calves and spending time with our families. What more could you ask for?)
I have found a few things that help me get through the distance and I hope they can help you as well.
Communicate. I know this is rather redundant to all the other articles you have read about relationship advice, etc. But honestly, do it. Neither one of you are mind readers and if you are, can you please contact me? Talking to each other and being up front about things makes your relationship a whole lot easier.
Listen. Again, simple. I do find myself struggling with this at times and having to ask the same question repeatedly, and it's usually because I get easily sidetracked. Just ask my boyfriend. He knows I mean well, but somedays it just happens.
Cherish the time you have. Don't count down the hours you have left together, that really puts a damper on the mood and all the fun you could be enjoying. Enjoy the car rides to run errands, the time you get to spend with his family and yours too.
Be courteous. Let each other vent. Don't push a sore subject and don't rehash the past. I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason whether good or bad. Extend to your significant other the same courtesy you want them to give you. Relationships are hard, they're even harder if it's all a one-way street.
Don't stress about the little stuff. You don't have a text back in the first 30 seconds? Don't worry! You both have things going on in your lives and while you might have a lot of down time doesn't mean he or she does too. Let them have fun with their friends without constantly checking in on them, I promise it will be OK.
Live in the moment. Take those silly pictures together. Some of my favorite pictures are the ones where we are making weird faces. The thing about those pictures is that they bring back the moment you are in. You can see how in love you are with that person without having to smile at the camera.
(Yes, he is licking my cheek. We had just finished marking cows to sort for breeding.)
Long distance is only temporary. Don't sweat the small stuff. Fall in love no matter the distance; things have a funny way of working out. When you know you have found the right person, you just know.
