Now, before we get into anything, I don't know Luke P. personally other than what I have seen on TV. For all I know, he could be a standup guy who the producers just cut and pasted to seem bad on national television. He could be at a different part of his walk with Christ and still figuring things out. We have no right to judge him because we don't know him and he is not the focus of this article. The focus is the character that is being portrayed—a character the show has made on this season of Bachelorette (because let's be real, reality TV is anything but). Whether this is the real Luke P. or not, the producers of the Bachelorette have crafted the type of guy that I think we see quite often in life: a wolf in sheep's clothing.
As a Christian, I find it important for me to find a Godly man who also loves Jesus and wants to work towards a strong relationship in Him. However, even as someone who goes to a Christian university, I find that just because a guy says he "loves Jesus" and "is Christian," doesn't mean that he actively strives to be like Christ every day.
There are so many guys out there who may believe in God, and call themselves a Christian, but when it comes down to it, aren't really. They just use the label to describe themselves as a good guy. It's kind of like the people who use Bible verses out of context to benefit themselves. Which can be difficult to deal with and disappointing because you think you found a great guy who has the same values as you, just to find out not everything is as it seems.
From watching Luke P. on the Bachelorette, I've realized how night and day a Godly man is versus a guy. I looked to the Bible and God to help put a little guide for everyone when it comes to distinguishing the two.
Here are some things to think about when looking for a Godly man:
Does he follow Christ and make it a high priority? (John 10:27; 1 Corinthians 11:1).
Is he humble? (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Peter 5:5)
Is he careful with the type of language he uses? (Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 15:1) How does he communicate?
Is he generous (not in wealth, but with time and praise and encouragement)?
Does he have a temper (Proverbs 22:24)?
What does the Bible say then about the attributes of a Godly man?
A Man of God is Strong and Loving: This does not mean strong as in physical strength but in spiritual strength. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 says, "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Peter 3:7 also says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." A Godly man will be a rock to your relationship and uses his strength to love, not dominate.
A Man of God Obeys the Lord: An example that most people look at in the Bible is King David. Though he fell and tripped through life many times, his faith in God was everlasting and shows that you do not have to be perfect, to be loved and cherished by God. 1 Kings 2:2-4 and Acts 13:22 describes David, "a man after God's heart." That means following God in obedience and wanting in our heart, to do His will and go where He calls us.
A Man of God is Mature: When you look at a man of God, you will see that he has left his childish ways behind him. He won't play games with your heart but instead, work hard. Boys play, men work. An example of this would be Boaz from the Bible. He showed maturity towards Ruth and worked hard to help her and do right by her.
A Man of God is Respectful: The way one acts towards you is a reflection on how they view themselves. A Godly man should be respectful of you in every way because he respects himself because he knows he is a son of God. Therefore a man of God issues no backhanded compliments, manipulative words, and foul language. Look at Proverbs 31:10-11 for a description.
A Man of God Loves Deeply: Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives like Christ. This can go towards men of God who aren't married yet as well. He shouldn't be self-centered and instead, live to love God and others. They live to serve instead of being served; they seek to live like Jesus (Mark 10:45).
Now, I'm not saying that every Godly man you meet will check off every one of these boxes. Everyone is a work-in-progress and we are all working on ourselves to be more like Christ each day. However, there is a huge difference between a guy who says he is a Christian and a Godly man. One will exhibit selfish tendencies and use the word of God for his own benefit, while the other will love like Jesus and striving to walk with Christ each day, serving him and the ones he loves.
It is important to have a firm foundation to build upon, that way, the house will not crumble. A Godly man acknowledges that God is that foundation, and puts it first in the relationship to build upon. Remember that next time you come across a guy you like, someone who seems good on the outside. Because if the inside does not reflect what he is saying, he's just a boy playing around. Find yourself a Man of God who will work hard to get to you and to push you to Christ.