When at an event, someone might address the crowd as "Ladies and gentlemen," and you probably think nothing of it. That's okay, I used to, too. Lately, I have been thinking about the word "lady" and the implications of this word. It's not a bad word, but there are some connotations and general old fashioned-ness associated with that word. There are some things about the word that are restrictive and simply outdated about the word "lady."
I first really thought about the word "lady" when I saw a post on Facebook. It was in an online community of mostly women, but with some men. Some of the men had problems with posts addressing the group starting with "Hi ladies!" and other similar phrases. A woman commented on a post addressing the issue that the word "lady" is not only offensive and exclusionary to the men, but also to women.
In the past, women led very specific lives. They would grow up, abiding by the rules of their fathers, then they would marry and would manage the house and take care of the kids while their husbands worked. This is what I typically think of when I think of a lady. But women are so much more than that now. We can be homemakers, but we can also be working professionals, accountants, engineers, business leaders, lawyers, and more. My mother is one of these amazing working women.
Calling women "ladies" implies a specific way of how a woman should act, what they should wear and what their purpose is in society. I think the word itself is not inherently bad. It is pretty limiting, though. Today, women are able to do many different things, pursue different careers, and lead lives that do not line up with traditional gender roles. The word "lady" is very limiting to women, and men for that matter. Referring to women as ladies limits women to one way of living. It keeps women in a small box when it comes to career choices, and it doesn't reflect the current movement of gender equality.
I, personally, feel uncomfortable being called a lady, because I don't fit that mold of a "lady." Yes, I am female, and yes females can be very ladylike, but I don't think of myself as a lady. My daily hair routine consists of combing my hair and then letting the curly frizz do its thang. I don't like messing with the beast. My daily makeup routine involves haphazardly putting concealer on any acne I have that day.
I also like having the freedom to just be me, without the constricting labels, "lady" or otherwise
I definitely think that calling women "ladies" is something that we should at least be aware of. Some women probably love it, but others might be offended. In the context of ladies and gentlemen, it seems to be okay, but as with anything, gender has become an even more sensitive topic. We all need to try our best to be sensitive. When in doubt, just ask.
