Dear Boys,

As a young woman in her twenties, I have got to say that you astonish me. I was speaking with a friend of mine and we just happen to get on the topic about you. The topic was not how nice you were or how great of a person you were, it was about your perception of women and relationships. While I was sitting at a table with a handful of you, you were talking about relationships. You stated you wanted someone kind or someone with a strong personality, but then in a few short sentences later, you stated that some girl was hot and you would date her. I stated that she was not a nice person and your reply was this, "Okay, but she's hot." It has come to my mind that that's what you care about. You state that you want someone kind and other things, but you only seem to comment on their looks.

You sat there and analyzed which girls had large breast and an even bigger butt. When you heard that they were dating someone, you said, "Oh, that guy is lucky! I mean, look at her." Not once did you say that the guy is lucky because she is a sweet girl, because she has an amazing personality, or how smart she was. You focused on her body.

Let me just say, as being your female friend, I was quite disgusted. I was also hurt. As a female, I already have body issues, but then when I hear comments about how the perfect woman has a big butt, a tiny waist, and big breasts, it give me more issues that I already had. Now some would say this is a personal issue for me, and while it might be, I know other girls that feel this way too. When you say these things, you are hurting the girls around you. You are showing us that if we wanted to be with you, we must look like these girls that have this so called "perfect body."

Well, not all of us can have this body. Some of us will never have a big butt, we won't have big breasts, and some will definitely NEVER have that tiny waist. We are all different shapes and sizes and just because we don't look like those other women, we don't deserve anything less.

Another thing that you do is state about how entertained you were with her clothing, or lack of clothing. You think that is attractive, meanwhile some of us girls are like, "Why are your butt cheeks hanging out?" You tell us we are just being rude, but you are the one being rude by complimenting a girl on her lack of clothing. I cover myself up quite nicely and I try my best to be as modest as I can, but the moment I wear a dress or I wear a v-neck, you comment about how my shirt is too low, or my dress is too short. I know you say those things because of how I look. All because I am not a small girl, you make sly remarks about how I shouldn't wear those things and that hurts my self-esteem issues.

I know that you are not aware that you do this. I even know that not all of you do this, but if you do, please be mindful. Be mindful that there are women who surround you everyday. We hear these comments and then we poke and prod at ourselves mentally. We look at ourselves as never reaching your goal of being the perfect woman and that causes us to hurt. Next time, before you make a comment like that, step back and look at who is around you, decide if that is the best time to say your remark or not.

Sincerely,

Just another girl.