Almost every girl has struggled at some point or another with how they feel about their body image.
Today’s world has convinced young girls that they have to have a certain body with defined features in order to even be considered pretty. But what others think of you isn’t what’s important. It what you think of yourself that matters.
I hated myself for years starting with my first breakup. I was always one of the heavier girls in my class even when I switched schools. When my boyfriend broke up with me, he quickly moved on to the skinniest girl in his class. I convinced myself that he broke up with me because of my weight. I started to starve myself a few days at a time with major binge days in between. I eventually lost 40lbs but quickly gained it all back over the summer when there was no one around to try and impress. I was constantly unhappy and had extreme mood swings. I started high school around this time and realized that many of the girls I had become friends with were only temporary and had moved on to being friends with the upperclassmen over a new girl they had only recently met. I contemplated suicide for a time but ultimately knew that I couldn’t go through with it. I knew that in those moments it was time for a change. I couldn’t keep criticizing myself every time I walked past a mirror or someone pulled out a camera or even when my friends decided to go get ice cream. I was turning every opportunity to make a memory into a nightmare by overly judging myself.
To invoke a change, I decided to work in small steps starting with my mental health. I bought a mirror for my room. I would stand in front of it every morning and every night and tell myself how beautiful I am. (I still do this- three years later!) I faked my confidence. I didn’t actual believe it for months but it was the repetition that helped me work on breaking down my insecurities. I met this truly nice guy who complimented me daily on small things like my smile or how a certain shirt made my eyes pop! or even on my taste in music. It was those small compliments that helped me realize that I am more than my body shape. We are still good friends and I still get daily compliments. I’d write some of them down on post-it notes and place them around my room. Seeing them every now and then really helped my self-esteem. Starting off, it was rough but the whole fake it ‘til you make it mantra really helped me. Everyone thought that I was super confident in myself and thought that I didn’t care what they thought of me when in reality it was just my outer shell. But after about two and a half years of transitioning, I have finally become a teenager who is actually confident in myself and I’m not afraid to try new outfits that I would never have even looked at in the past. This Bible verse has actually helped me a lot through this transitioning process: Song of Songs 4:1, “How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful you are!” (NAB)
Learning to love myself was a long process. Everyone will have their hardships but pushing through those setbacks will open many opportunities for you to become your true self regardless of your appearance.
