Love is a tricky thing. It leaves you vulnerable and dependent on another, hindering all focus on yourself for the person or thing in which you love. Love is challenging, meaning something different to everyone who encounters it. Love is a battle, pushing and pulling. It becomes harder, however, to love one when you do not love yourself. When you stare at the mirror each morning with uncertainty, a thought of, "If I could only change..." Yet, you stare at another with the hope that they will never change. The freckles that you despise on your face, adorns theirs, and the hair that never stays on your head is strangely adorable on another.
When you love someone else you turn the hate you feel for yourself and channel it to love for them. However, your love can be tainted. You should be your first love and confusion can hit when it's not. Doubt fills the mind: "Am I worthy of this person," "How can they care for me the way I do them," "Why me when there's so many others," "How and until when..." The love you felt so deeply can easily transform when your insecurities take hold. Not only questioning can affect you, but your love for one another can be overridden by uncertainty. You become consumed with yourself in an unhealthy way rather than the radical self love you, and your relationship, deserves.
In another twisted situation, however, the more you invest your worth into a relationship that may not last or fulfill every need, you will be shattered when the relationship ends. Especially in younger girls and older women who feel that time is running out, pressure to date and love is immense and unyielding. What begins as slight flirtation and butterflies easily becomes fantasizing and future preparation for a life not yet decided. What is most heartbreaking is a relationship that never gets the chance to form due to so many factors that come with self doubt. So many choose to believe interest to be hoax, no one could ever...I can't...Thoughts and voices swirling in mind running into eachother causing collision.
To love yourself is to find true joy, the formation of a relationship that will never end due to a text or other flirtation. What makes this hard is the constant bullets shot from other opinion and mindlessness misconstrued and ultimate truth. When you struggle to love yourself, you struggle to feel and find more love in or for other people. When you attain the love of someone who cannot love themself, it means they see something in you they cannot find within themself. The job to love them becomes greater but is worth it, because they give you all they have.
