Not to be over-dramatic, but my heart has been shattered. My expectations for love were non-existent because I never saw myself loving like this again. Admittedly, I am petrified that this will end up like my last, even though I know there's a difference. I can't shake the fact that my heart is no longer just my own; it has two homes now.
"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you." -Unknown
I've seen this quote numerous times before running into you, and I thought I had healed. However, just being with you has caused past insecurities to trickle to the surface. I promise I'll try my utmost best to keep them at bay, but please be patient with me. Know that I want this to go the distance, though I might put up a cold exterior. I'm quite simple to love, but my ego and distrust makes it difficult.
I'm sure you've gone through your share of heartaches and traumas too. I'll empathize with your pain, and we'll pick up each other's broken pieces, delicately putting them back together. This is a rather personal subject, so feel free not to share. Though, know that I genuinely want to know all the intricacies that make you, well, you. I hope you want the same because that is exactly what you'll get.
Complexities galore and everything in between; I have it all. Most of the time I'll suffer in silence, as to not push you away from me. Please don't call this toxic, what we have. I'm only defensive as a habit, and I'm going to kick it. I can't let this opportunity for love pass me by like so many others. I know I can do this, I'm ready to open up.
Maybe this is the final stage of my healing journey. Learning to let go and give someone the chance to prove all my past hurt wrong. I am welcoming you with open arms no matter how apprehensive my heart my be. I will show you I can be more than the broken girl you've only caught a glimpse of. She's come a long way, and she's is still coming into her own.
Don't be discouraged, my love. Once my flood gate of emotions opens, you will see that I have love as vast as the sea. I could give you the world because I know what it's like when someone doesn't deliver. When I do come short of these promises, which I will, and have setbacks in healing, which I will, understand that I am more disappointed in myself than you ever could be. I apologize.
I have survived 100% of everything that has happened to me thus far, and I'll overcome this too. I am fully capable of love. I am not my past, and you're my future. Give me time, give me space, give me a chance to show you the scope of my affections. I will have good and bad days, uncertainty will rear its ugly head, let's hold each other through it.
I have a past, like you, maybe messier but we can still be one. I willingly give you my heart in hopes that you hold it with the greatest amount of care- I will make sure to do the same.
I love you.
