Growing up, I had a really hard time accepting who I am. I've never really considered myself pretty or anything. Whether I like it or not, I am considered "fat". Most people nowadays don't really consider this word as an insult, but more as a descriptive word. I agree and also disagree with this. I have no problem with people calling themselves fat but I don't necessarily like that word used towards me because every time I've been called this it was used as an insult. I was constantly wanting reassurance from other people to tell me that I look great and that I had a boyfriend at the time, so who cares what I look like?

Now that I've been single for a few months, I realize that is not the case. I should care about what I look like and I should just embrace the body that I have and to take care of myself better. I have also started to eat a lot healthier than I had been. My ex told me to lose 20 pounds when we were together. At the time I knew he was doing it to try to motivate me, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt my feelings. In the past few months, I have done just that. Not because someone told me to, but because I wanted to. I don't care if people do not notice or tell me that I look like I lost weight, because all that matters is that I know I have.

From the words of Ru Paul "If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" I firmly believe in this quote and use it in my everyday life. In order for me to be happy with someone else I need to take care of myself first. I'm starting to not care what other people think of me and to just surround myself with people that love me for me. I will never ever be perfect and I'm certainly not trying to be.

My ultimate goal is to just be happy and healthy. I know I can't be happy all of the time but hopefully I can be the majority of the time.

So to those who love me for me, thank you.To my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings,friends, and sorority sisters. You guys are what keep me going.