"It was rather beautiful; the way he put her insecurities to sleep. The way he dove into her eyes and starved all the fears and tasted all the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones." - Christopher Poindexter
We've all heard the story: you can't expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself. Well I did and so far its working. I have never had high self-confidence. I have always had the belief that someone is always prettier than me, smarter than me, or just down right better than me, and this is how I shape the ideas I have about myself.
But then, I met my boyfriend and he has brought to question all of the beliefs that I have about myself. He calls me beautiful, and always tells me that he is amazed by how smart I am, that I am perfect for him, and that I am worthy. Don't get me wrong, I usually don't take compliments very well, but that is also something that he has taught me to work on.
He clears my head of its demons and sees me for who I truly am. No mater how many times I compare myself to others. He has shown me that it doesn't matter if I think that someone is better than me, because someone always will be. This doesn't mean that I am worth any less because I gave one hundred percent of my effort and nothing else matters. He has listened to me have one thousand and one mental breakdowns about school, but he has taught me that my self-worth is not defined by a grade and that I mean so much more than my GPA. As long as I work hard, and I do my best he will always be proud of me. I'm usually a mess with half brushed hair, mascara on one eye, and honestly I'm in sweat pants ninety percent of the time, but he never fails to tell me that I am the most beautiful girl in the world. He has taught me that it's okay to feel pretty and that it's okay to take compliments. He has shown me that even though I may not have the highest self-esteem, I cannot talk negatively about myself because that is only hurting me more. He has taught me slowly but surely that there is beauty in everyone and that there is so much more to people than what's on the outside. What is on the inside is so much more important - this is something that I have always wanted to believe.He found parts of me that I didn't even know existed and I found my true love in him. He calms my nerves, he listens to my biggest fears, he pushes me to achieve my biggest dreams, and he never stops believing in me. I am a girl who never truly learned to love herself, who fell in love with a boy who believed in me, loved me, and helps teach me to love myself more and more everyday. When you fall in love with someone who you believe to be the most amazing human being, it's hard not to find a little bit of love for yourself along the way - and I really do believe that this is the magic of the journey.
So, for all of the girls out their who haven't quite figured out how to love themselves yet, it's okay to fall in love with someone else. You can march to the beat of your own drum and define love in anyway that you please.
After all, it takes a long time to learn to love yourself and why not have someone to help encourage you along that long and windy road. Maybe just maybe, you will learn to love yourself while falling for another person who loves you wholly for who you are - and that will help to bring sunshine into your life and start you on the right path to loving life and loving yourself.
I didn't ask him to save me, but he stood by my side as I learned to save myself.
