It was early last semester in the middle of a rehearsal that I felt it. An emotion I still can't quite pinpoint that teeters between restlessness and boredom. It felt extremely reminiscent of the same momentary energy that bubbles inside your soul and manifests itself as a simple eye roll. Except, that time and time again, it lingered. It wasn't the same kind of melancholy you feel when the days become shorter, bleaker, and darker, but it permeated every aspect of my life just as well. I love music. I love performing. I love the processes involved in creating and producing art, but I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be in my bed taking a nap, or doing homework, or anything else that would get me out of this routine. It was nothing against the music, nor being productive. It was just that nothing I did felt quite genuine anymore. I was always doing the same thing, and I felt extremely stagnant in my life. I would study in the same places, do the same types of assignments first, and work the same hours during the same time of day. I was done with it, and it wasn't even that far into the semester.

Sometimes, we need to both find and hit our mental reset button to realize what got us into this routine in the first place. I spend most of my time in deep thought, so this process wasn't the most difficult to take up. I realized that I was going about my life in the wrong way, for me at least. I'm not the type of person to turn my brain off for the sake of doing something, and I hated the way I felt like a robot going through the motions of the type of person I wanted to be. I started to finally listen to myself, and I stopped going through my routine for the sake of it. Instead, I decided to give myself the time I deserved just to relax, and to mentally prepare myself for busy days. I've become better at time management because of it, and I've learned to take risks and prioritize in ways I never thought I'd encounter.