A redhead walks into a hair salon. Can you guess what happens next?
I love breakfast from hot bars. I love power walking. I love shopping (too much). I love my family. I love brownies. I love bacon. I love red wine. I love my red hair. And I love How To Be A Redhead for so many reasons but especially today because, thanks to them, we get to celebrate the second national #LoveYourRedHairDay on Nov. 5. Move aside, Kick A Ginger Day! If you need a reason why, here's nine.
Redheads, this one is for you! And for all the friends and family who have a dearly beloved redhead in their lives who have experienced this journey with us. We've been through a lot but I'm going to keep this one light.
There are the typical and classic stories I'm sure every redhead can relate to--especially if you're the only redhead in your family like me:
"Oh, they're sisters! They look nothing alike."
How my mom wants to respond: Aw how cute, you didn't know a redhead and a blond could be sisters. Also, you're rude.
How she responds: Yes. They're sisters. Meanwhile, the lady is probably thinking to herself how my sister and I couldn't possibly have the same set of parents.
"Is that her natural color?"
How my mom wants to respond: Yes, she's 10 years old. You think I'd dye my 10-year-old's hair?
How she responds: Yes. It's her natural hair color.
"Do your parents have red hair?"
How I want to respond: Lolololololol if I had a dime for every person who asked me that. What do you want me to say? What answer would MOST intrigue you?
How I respond: Nope! Just me!
"A sibling?"
Why are you so curious? No.
"Interesting! I wonder why!"
Please don't make me explain the whole it-skips-a-generation thing to you.
"My sister was the only redhead in her family, too."
Cool!
"I thought the babysitter was the older sister and you were the friend!"
Classic case of assumptions. Thanks, that's so nice of you.
"Do you like having red hair!?"
Idk, do you like having arms?
*Walks into hair salon, "Your hair is beautiful, isn't her hair beautiful?" "Ooooo, is that your natural color? Have you ever dyed it? <insert every statement from above here>"
We have no souls, does the carpet match the drapes, fire references, can I call you Ginger?, our dad is the milkman, yada yada. Retweet if you feel me!
Then there are those things we understand that make us feel special and that no one else can relate to--like Felicity was obviously the first American Girl doll we received. And naturally, Ariel is the fucking coolest Disney princess because she has a sea shell bra and, oh yeah, red hair like me. And then there are those things we can't understand--like why hot pink can't ever be our color, why 99 percent of mascara only comes in black and why the fuck there's no redhead emoji. I can't understand it, y'all! It's comical at this point really. Other than that, my fellow redheads, we have made leaps and bounds. Leaps and bounds, I tell you!
From no souls to magical unicorns who are fucking awesome, we shifted the conversation and everyone else shifted with it--some people even started dying their hair red. Way to be strong and #LoveYourRedHair, redheads! Thanks to all the parents and supporters who have helped us along the way and accepted us for the real feisty and lovable beings we are because we couldn't have done it without you!
Here's to the leaps and bounds we've made in society, redheads! May your contagious, vibrant, relentless and unmatched spirit continue energizing the world around you.
PS, don't worry people who say insulting things and ask dumb, common questions to redheads. We appreciate you--we just have to humor you. XOXO
