I wrote this during my layover in Minnesota. It has been heavy on my heart lately so just hear me out please.
One thing about being in North Carolina for the few days that I was there is to love the ones who are battling addiction.
I'm going to get a little personal because this involves a certain family member if not many.
Coming from someone who doesn't do drugs, I knew I had no room to judge. This is the time they need the most love and support.
Being 785 miles away and hearing that "she's so strung out on meth, she doesn't even want to see her kids" I had no desire to see her. In fact when I did see her, I half assed the hug. I was short with her and gave her the worst judgement ever. I did this because I was so disappointed. I was disappointed because she was just like everyone else on that side of the family. I was disappointed in the fact that she even let herself get to this point in her life because that's all she grew up knowing. But to be 100% honest with you, I'm not so much disappointed anymore because I see the agony that she is in. Now before you go and shake your head at what I just said, understand that one thing I have learned is that she can't help it when someone else is the reason she got hooked. Like I have mentioned before, I'm not someone who does drugs so I thought it would be easy for her to just get off the drugs...but to tell you the truth it's not. I've seen it first hand and the withdrawals are so painful to watch. It's even more painful to watch her babies cry for their momma and she doesn't want to have much of anything to do with them. This is all because of the drugs! Drugs change you as a person and she's not the same person I once knew.
She cries out for help and she wants to get help. I just wish she would cry like that for her babies because they need her. Besides the downfall to addiction, it has a beautiful side to it as well. I say this because I think being surrounded by my family for this short period of time I was able to give them some more strength. The smiles I witnessed were smiles I wish I could've photographed but I was so caught up in the moment with them. When you have a family member that is battling their own addictions, don't push them away and DON'T degrade them. You need to support them and show them that even if they stopped caring about themselves, show them that you still care and you will not stop fighting for their well-being. That right there will mean the world to them. That will brighten their spirits and you will see small changes. You have to be patient with them too. Don't expect them to change overnight because I'm sorry to break it to you, no one can change over night.
Patience is hard when you see them relapse but you have to keep being their backbone at this point.
Now just because you're their back bone doesn't mean they get to take advantage of you. You have to be smart. You have to know what is sincere and what's not.
Most importantly, don't forget to love unconditionally and learn to forgive. Life is so much easier once those two are accomplished.
