Friendship is weird.

Yeah, I said it. I mean, we are put on this earth as individuals. We have our own favorite songs, our own pet peeves, our own senses of humor, our own passions, our own political preferences, our own guilty pleasures, etc. But then we meet these other individuals with their own favorite songs and senses of humor, and all these individual traits begin to merge. It’s a beautiful form of unity that comes with growing close to someone else. An example: I’m sure every single person can think of a time in their life when their laugh sounded different based on the person’s laugh which you heard the most. All this being said, certain individuals in our life truly drive who we are… What a thought.

Friendship is so beautiful.

So yeah, I’m sure we could each list 10,000 reasons why we love our friends; why we find their lifestyles so appealing that we choose to “fuse who we are with who they are,” if you will. The time she dropped it all to bring you a caramel frap after some wanker broke your heart. That time you laughed for hours, driven by nothing but late night delirium. That time y’all had dinner without talking, and it hit you that the company, alone, was enough. But I want this article to be focused not on WHY love yo friends, but HOW to love yo friends. So my challenge for all readers is to take any inventive and selfless opportunity to LOVE YO FRIENDS.

We have established that we have been given the life-giving gift of friendship…the gift that keeps on giving (said with four borderline seductive eyebrow raises). We are given this epic gift. So how can we be an epic gift? I have a couple of thoughts on how to achieve the underrated joy that comes with fully appreciating those we love.

1. Find out yo friends' love language

This is so Bible Belt of me to say. But seriously, although a lot of you are driven by bear hugs and footsies, different people receive different forms of love better than others *cough cough. Like I said before, we were made as individuals, so whether it is Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, or even the dreaded Physical Touch, shouldn’t we try our hardest to adapt the love we give to the love they want to receive?

2. Pray for yo friends

This isn’t praying that your friend won’t forget your birthday or that your friend will be able to go to that concert with you. I’m talking about the kind of prayer that doesn’t benefit you in any way. I dare you to ask your friend how you can pray for them. This is a quick starter to forming a spiritually centered relationship of accountability and support.

3.Go big, not home

Okay lets be honest; the first instinct when making plans is to Netflix and Chill, but not in a weird way. It’s easy. It has few potential complications. You don’t even have to wear a bra, which is a lifestyle that I will always stand behind, but lets be honest part two: it ought to be called Netflix and Kill time. What if we made epic memories instead of convenient plans? Having friends is cool. But having friends who will go to new places, dance with little social awareness, and take crazy dares is cooler.

4. Be vulnerable

Full disclosure: typing that one out my me gag a little. This is an element of relationship that I, personally, haven’t quite mastered yet, but that’s okay; most people haven’t. This is actually the most ironic number on this list because most people subconsciously steer clear of vulnerability in the name of maintaining relationships (we don’t want to appear weak or broken just for the sake of a pat on the back). Cool thing: vulnerability is not synonymous with weakness. If you don’t have an ugly past, a scandalous secret, malicious thoughts, nagging emotional pain, or toxic relationships…well good job, but some of us are actually human. The cool thing about is humanity is that we are wired to love, so it is my belief that friends should love not despite the ugly but because of the ugly... Let me lay it out: our friends love us. And every single person contains some ugly (yes, even you holy roller that denied all the previously listed elements of us that aren’t perfect365’ed). So if my calculations are correct: if our friends love us, they love our ugly, because the ugly makes us…US.

5. Rando acts of kindness

• Write your friends letters
• Pay for their dinner
• FaceTime just to hear about their day
• Two words: Smoothie. Run.
• Clean out their car
• Text encouraging Bible verses
• Post a picture to remind the world of how annoying you two are
• Be creative; you know what your friend likes

You get the idea: don’t wait for a flu outbreak or birthday to make the day of someone you love. Growing up, I used to be suspicious of the fact that “National Friend Day” on Instagram seemed to occur more than once annually, but maybe this is just a sign that every day is the day to appreciate your friend!! So go make someone smile.

6. Know yo friends

Everyone likes to talk about themselves, or maybe not everyone, but I sure do. So whether you are like me (narcissists unite!) or not, please never stop learning about your friends. I love a good intentional question (Funniest story you have? Best memory of your life? Favorite person to ever meet?), but hypothetical games like M.A.S.H and Marry, Kill, and… I must have forgotten the last part of that game (?) are a guarantee for a good laugh and a good investment into knowledge about your friend. One of the strongest universal desires is the need to be heard. The need to be known. So listen and learn, boys and girls. You will most likely find that wanting to know about the people you love will lead to them wanting to know about you, giving all people a whole new level of investment into each other… Isn’t that how relationship ought to be?

So back to the gift that keeps on giving (wink, wink): having friends that you don’t invest ALL your love into is like having the best present you could ever ask for, then shoving it to the back of the closet. Be intentional! Be vulnerable! Be knowledgeable! Be adventurous! Be invested.

Because Friendship can be life-giving.

But only if you make it that way.