Recently I have been writing somewhat happy-go-lucky articles. This is your chance: if you want to read about the Friends TV show, Instagram, or Curvy Girl perks maybe you should click on one of those links instead of reading on. If you are interested in some #realtalk, then you clicked on the right article!
As a 20-something, it feels like this is the “wedding season” of life. This bombardment of weddings is only compounded by the fact that I go to a Christian school. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, but sometimes it feels like a betrayal when I also support divorce.
Yes, you heard me correctly - I support divorce. In fact, I
was am a child of divorce. For the longest time, I was terrified that someone would want to marry me. It felt as though I was destined for divorce.
I wish I could tell younger me that a divorce is not what I should be worried about, an unhealthy marriage is. I love weddings, but I support divorce. A wedding is a union of two people, their lives, and their belongings. These people have chosen each other to share the rest of their lives with. A wedding is a chance to promise that you will choose to love the other for as long as you both shall live. This doesn’t mean that you will fall in love every day, or feel lovey-dovey feelings, but that you will choose to show love to your spouse through your actions. When that love is not being shown anymore, it has become an unhealthy marriage.
I have seen first hand that some people are better off not married anymore. Many disagree with me saying “divorce is not biblical!” Well, I do not believe a verbally nor physically abusive marriage is biblical either. Many choices could bring healing to an unhealthy marriage - including counseling and having discussions that lead to compromises. After two people have exhausted their possibilities though, a divorce is not something to be looked down upon. It takes two people making an effort for a marriage to work and sometimes they don’t work out the way they should.
No, I am not a pessimist. I’m not the type to mention the “statistic” that half of all marriages end in divorce. I like to consider myself a romantic realist. I am the one who looks forward to weddings; the one who’s ecstatic to be her best friend’s maid of honor. I tear up at ceremonies and cut up the dance floor at receptions. Not to mention my Pinterest profile has a very organized wedding board. Weddings are the extravagant beginnings to marriages where people choose to love each other, but let us not shame divorce of unhealthy marriages.