I Love Weddings But I Also Support Divorce

I Love Weddings But I Also Support Divorce

Summer Chronicles: Vol. 13
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Recently I have been writing somewhat happy-go-lucky articles. This is your chance: if you want to read about the Friends TV show, Instagram, or Curvy Girl perks maybe you should click on one of those links instead of reading on. If you are interested in some #realtalk, then you clicked on the right article!

As a 20-something, it feels like this is the “wedding season” of life. This bombardment of weddings is only compounded by the fact that I go to a Christian school. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, but sometimes it feels like a betrayal when I also support divorce.

Yes, you heard me correctly - I support divorce. In fact, I was am a child of divorce. For the longest time, I was terrified that someone would want to marry me. It felt as though I was destined for divorce.

I wish I could tell younger me that a divorce is not what I should be worried about, an unhealthy marriage is. I love weddings, but I support divorce. A wedding is a union of two people, their lives, and their belongings. These people have chosen each other to share the rest of their lives with. A wedding is a chance to promise that you will choose to love the other for as long as you both shall live. This doesn’t mean that you will fall in love every day, or feel lovey-dovey feelings, but that you will choose to show love to your spouse through your actions. When that love is not being shown anymore, it has become an unhealthy marriage.

I have seen first hand that some people are better off not married anymore. Many disagree with me saying “divorce is not biblical!” Well, I do not believe a verbally nor physically abusive marriage is biblical either. Many choices could bring healing to an unhealthy marriage - including counseling and having discussions that lead to compromises. After two people have exhausted their possibilities though, a divorce is not something to be looked down upon. It takes two people making an effort for a marriage to work and sometimes they don’t work out the way they should.

No, I am not a pessimist. I’m not the type to mention the “statistic” that half of all marriages end in divorce. I like to consider myself a romantic realist. I am the one who looks forward to weddings; the one who’s ecstatic to be her best friend’s maid of honor. I tear up at ceremonies and cut up the dance floor at receptions. Not to mention my Pinterest profile has a very organized wedding board. Weddings are the extravagant beginnings to marriages where people choose to love each other, but let us not shame divorce of unhealthy marriages.

Cover Image Credit: Sweet Ice Cream Photography

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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4 Things I Wish High School Me Knew

Every day has a purpose.

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People don't give high school enough credit for having the ability to shape your life. It can build you or it can break you and often times there is no in between. As I enter into my senior year of college I have reflected a lot on my college career and how it really has been the best years of my life up to this point, but I know that without a doubt my life would have been so different in I would have known these things as a high schooler.

1. Your life is valuable

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. - Ephesians 2:4-7

2. You aren't defined by your singleness. 

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 2:7

4. You aren't going to fit in

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

4. Your clothes aren't going to fit forever, don't spend all of your money on them 

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." - Luke 12:15

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