It’s no question that in our early twenties we find ourselves in the ring having to referee a fight between love and lust. For this season’s "Bachelorette," Kaitlin Bristowe, this scenario is all too real. (But literally too real since one of her first group dates was a boxing match between the guys.)
What I mean by love vs lust is the easy confusion between love, a deep feeling and genuine affection towards someone, and lust, a passionate (mostly sexually driven) desire. Usually these two are distinguished after it’s too late, after what was thought to be love was actually its short-lived arch-nemesis in disguise.
Kaitlin is the perfect example of this ever-common situation, as the entire show is based around searching for a husband while sifting out the insincere boys. Being the most relatable bachelorette yet, Kaitlin is funny, corky, makes mistakes, and is more heart than head, like most of us. (Aside from the fact that she is drop-dead gorgeous with great style, potentially not totally relatable for all of us.) Some of the guys’ characteristics will fit perfectly with someone in our actual lives, guy or girl, and Kaitlin’s responses, though not perfect, are how most of us would deal with them.
1. Chris “Cupcake”
Just like I am sure Kaitlin never thought she’d see a dentist roll up on the first night in a cupcake, Chris is the person you never saw coming into your life. Different from the ones before, it’s hard not to consider pursuing the relationship; since if it hadn’t worked out with anyone before this, you think maybe this is what you need. Sure, you have laughs and good memories (and maybe some super awkward situations), but the spark isn’t there. Chris is not love nor lust, just a bust… I guess you can’t have your (cup)cake and eat it, too.
2. Shawn B.
Ah, Ryan Gosling’s hotter, taller, younger brother. (Who wouldn’t want to take a dip in that gene pool?) So this is the seemingly perfect-on-paper person in our lives, and this is about so much more than looks. You can’t blame Kaitlin for being completely struck by Shawn B. You can tell how seriously he takes their relationship, because his jealousy when she is with other guys is so passionate and strong, giving the expected, minor bumps in the relationship-road. It’s no question he wants Kaitlin to be his for the long run. Also, when he brought family photos to show her, it was a symbol that he wanted her to be a part of his family. Shawn B. is the epitome of person-falling-in-love-with-you.
3. Nick V.
Nick is the person we cross paths with the most, and this is good and bad. Good because we are growing up, learning lessons and creating memories, but bad because this situation usually ends faster than it starts, and rarely ends well. Though at this point in the season Nick is still in the game, anyone who's ever felt the wrath of lust knows his game plan. It’s hard for anyone, especially Kaitlin, to not be drawn to someone so passionate and forward. When she has a group of guys to choose from in such a short amount of time, Nick is who she is bound to click with right off the bat, but lacking personal depth, their connection is only surface-level. Nick V. is the devil on our shoulder, lust.
Like most potential relationships, we come into it with a pure heart and ready for love. Although sometimes we are the side searching for lust, at the end of the day the ultimate goal is to find someone we can spend the rest of our lives with. Sure, it’s going to take countless flops along the way, but the memories and experiences we gain will lead us to becoming a potential spouse who has high expectations, but is willing to give just as much.
