My grandmother has dementia, and there are many moments when it would be easy to disconnect and leave her to her own devices. Until she moved into a care home, her devices usually involved breaking something, more often than not herself. For a long time, I was bitter I didn't get to have my grandmother as a huge part of my life, because more often than not she was incredibly hard to get along with and not feeling well enough to come to my events.
As I've grown, I'm thankful I was blessed with my grandmother. Yes, I didn't get to have the ideal Christmas because more often than not she'd burst into a fit of confusing or out of place dialogue, but she taught me patience and kindness in heaps. Without ever telling me, she taught me what it meant to be steadfast in love, and the dedication love demands.
If you ever have, or are currently, struggling with mental illness, I salute you. If you have ever, or are currently struggling with self esteem, body or any issues which drive you to isolate yourself, please don't. Go find the people I'm about to talk about.
This is a letter not exclusively to, and an encouragement thereof, those people who have loved ones who struggle with mental illness. I can tell you from first hand experience it was in my darkest moments the people who supported me with love, and sometimes the less friendly edge of reality were the ones who helped me understand the bottomless grace, forgiveness and love of Jesus Christ.
If you have a loved one who struggles with a mental illness, I admire you. I'm proud of all those days you spent pouring your love and time into them. I admire the steadfastness and resolution I know it takes to continually be a rock in a stream of self-doubt and confusion.
You, dear friend or family member, love someone who struggles with an illness many people don't acknowledge. Not only must you learn how to love them, but you must face the ignorance and misunderstanding people have about their illness. Weathering the naive comments and derogatory statements can be frustrating, and it can be incredibly difficult to respond in a kind and educational manner. Defending their internal wounds from a world that needs to see a physical sign to believe is crucial.
Thank you for having the courage to not only stand with, but to be a firm voice of reason for your loved one, even during uncertain storms. Thank you for knowing when silence is the best advice, and when a listening ear is the best gift to give. Please know when you fail, it isn't the end. While it may seem overwhelming and impossible, there is hope for better times.
As an encouragement to you, here's Deuteronomy 31:6,
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes before you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
If you're feeling tired, and the temptation to forget the kindness and strength is growing louder, I remind you to have love. 1 Corinthians 1:1-3,
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith, as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
