To Stay In Love When You Are Apart

To Stay In Love When You Are Apart

I do it because I want to.

When we began dating we were just in high school, both with unstable views of where life will take us in 10 years. Both with goals. We knew where we were going after high school, but what about life thereafter?

When we decided to date, I was not only dating you but I basically was in a relationship with the Army too. Why? Because where you go, I follow. I always have people question me about why I do it. Why stick with someone when you know they are soon to be deployed for God knows how long? How do you handle the fact that there is always a chance he may not come home to you? How do you deal with the times of no communication? My answer: because I love him.

In the basic sense, I love him is the answer I give to people even though the truth is that it goes even deeper. I don't do it because I have to, I do it because I want to. I do it because our love only grows stronger.

This weekend I was blessed. I got to see my man. Our time apart can get to us sometimes, making us frustrated but we then remind each other that we will see eachother eventually and its that thought that keeps us sane.

One thing I have learned from this type of relationship is that you need to get used to the plans chagning because you never know anything or what going on. For example, he was shipped to his unit and they tell you the day you leave or if youre lucky, the day before. Each week would would stay hopefuly that maybe, just mayb he would ship out and we could see eachother. Next thing we knew, over a month went by and a month is not a long time to be apart however we missed eachother deeply.

He fianlly shipped and was able to visit me, and I couldnt be more happy. This relationship has taught me to appreciate every little thing and never take for granted what God gives you because some people never find their person and to know I have mine at 18, well that just makes life that much better.

Cover Image Credit: Kathryn Crenshaw

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5 Reasons Why Dating The Football Player Is Overrated

Dating someone that society idolizes has no real benefits unless dating that person makes you truly happy

In every teen movie, the girl always falls for the popular football player guy. At some point in every girl's life, deep down, she wanted to be the girl to date the star player, but the movies never show you the downside of dating the football player.

1. Football Season Sucks

Unless you really like having alone time in a relationship, football season and the months leading up to football season sucks. Your boyfriend will constantly be at practice or in training. Practices and workouts and field days will become their life and you will have to mold your schedule to fit into theirs, and if you’re not very good at that then you probably won't be seeing much of your significant other unless it’s on the field.

2.God Forbid They Lose A Game

Losing a game is equivalent to the world ending. Be prepared to deal with a sad, emotional, mess of a human being. No matter what they say there is very little chance that their mood will change after they lose a game. I am all for being an emotional support system but one of the hardest things to do is cheer up a football player who lost their third game in a row.

3. Being Their #1 Fan Takes Work

I mean sitting on a cold bench for some hours takes real dedication. Sitting on a cold bench in the rain takes even more dedication. At that point, you’re probably going to start praying the game ends early. If you’re not a fan of football these will be the longest hours of your day. I’m sure you care about your boyfriend quite a bit but watching them run up and down a field will get old really quickly.

4. It’s Not Like The Movies

I am sure your significant other will win a few games, maybe he’ll win all of them but it’s not like the movies where you get to run up to the fence and they give you this big romantic kiss.

5. It’s Really Not All That

Just because you date a football player doesn’t mean that all life problems go away. Growing up watching TV shows and movies they all hyped the girl up to date a football player. Well, instead of dating a football player, be the football player. Dating someone that society idolizes has no real benefits unless dating that person makes you truly happy.

Cover Image Credit: Via YouTube

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Bringing My Relationship Back To "Us" And Realizing How Technology Stands In Our Way

When you begin to lose the "us" in your relationship, where do you even start?

After seven years together, my fiance and I finally had one of our toughest conversations yet. In the last seven years, we have been through a lot. Three years long distance, family trauma, physical and mental health trials and triumphs, etc. He works forty hours-a-week, and I work full time while also being a full-time student. In our hectic lives, we didn't realize that we were starting to lose "us." We come home after a long hard day and honestly just want to have some peace. We turn on a TV show and veg out for a while.

In the last few months, I had started to realize that something was missing, and honestly, I couldn't figure out what. One night while he was playing a video game and I was on my phone, it began to dawn on me. We no longer took time to concentrate on us. We no longer worked on strengthening our relationship.

As high school sweethearts, we have changed a lot together. I am definitely not the fourteen-year-old he first fell in love with, and I have watched him develop into the most amazing man I know. We had lost the part of our relationship that was full of life.

One night, we sat down and started discussing our relationship. It was hard. Really hard. We are a couple that no one wants to think has issues. One of our friends once told us that if we were to break up she would never believe in love again. The reality is -- no relationship is perfect. Relationships are hard. Relationships take constant work. If someone tells you it is easy, their relationship needs to have a reality check.

The question we came to was: "Where do we go from here? We love each other very deeply, but something needs to change. We need to focus on us, but where do we even start?"

The next night, we put the technology away. Phone, TV, computer... everything. We ended up playing board games by candlelight. Yes, I know this sounds ridiculously corny, but this was one of the best things that has happened to my relationship.

We are a society so caught up in technology that we forget to focus on what matters most. We forget to hug our loved ones. We forget to say "I love you." Our relationships with humans should be so much more important than our dependence on technology.

When you begin to lose the "us" in your relationship, you need to find the root of the issue. For us, it was our constant use of technology -- our lack of focus on each other, not the world around us. Even if you just take an hour out of your night to talk. Just talk. You would be amazed by what it can do for your relationship. Relationships take time, and every minute we spend concentrated on our phone or TV is time that we could be focusing on a loved one.

Remembering the importance of dedicating time to my relationship has already done leaps and bounds for my relationship and this is only the beginning.

Cover Image Credit: Anton Porsche

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