Is Love Really Like A Drug?

Is Love Really Like A Drug?

We're all madly in love

Love is a non-negotiable force that can drive us to do crazy things.

It is said to be one of our most basic and fundamental needs. We have this intense desire, as humans, to feel loved and nurtured. This is true in the form of spousal relationships, friendships, and the relationship between parent and child.

As babies, we are not taught to love, it is simply an act we need for survival. Science has shown that babies who are deprived of contact comfort, especially in the first six months after birth, are proven to grow up with psychological damage.

Love is not confined to romance, it is subjective and simply a phenomenon that is proven to enhance ones happiness.

Scientists say that the most exhilarating of all human emotions, love, is nature's beautiful way of keeping the human species alive and reproducing.

Unfortunately with love, comes heartbreak.

I recently found myself fascinated by the idea of love, which brought me to question why we continue to fall in love, sometimes many times over, if it means subjecting ourselves to the inevitable shattered state of mind that follows.

I personally believe we are in control of our own happiness. If this is true, then why do we consistently succumb ourselves to heartbreak?

Why do we consciously allow others to abandon, abuse, cheat, and hurt us?

Of course this goes both ways. Why then, when love is at our fingertips, do we self sabotage? Is it because we feel we don't deserve it? Perhaps it has been absent for so long that we refuse to accept it?

Another thing to consider is the loss of love. How do we recover? The truth is, I don't think we ever fully do.

In many cases, love fades. Sure, you aren't likely to find this to be true between parent and child but consider your friendships and romantic relationships. As time goes on, we lose that excitement we first experienced. Why is this?

I have recently read many articles about love, in an attempt to capture the essence of it.

Love is like a drug.

Dopamine is a compound found in the body that functions as a neurotransmitter. Essentially it works as a chemical messenger that sends signals to other nerve cells. The presence of dopamine ignites a euphoric feeling in your body that is responsible for the pitter-patter in your heart when you fall in love.

You won't be surprised to learn that dopamine is also activated by the use of cocaine.

Cocaine users say that excessive use of the drug causes a desensitization in the body, meaning the more frequently it is used, the more of it you need to successfully feel that desired high. Could this similarly be related to the feeling of love when dopamine is released in the body? Perhaps the reason love fades is due to the constant surge of dopamine that accompanies this blissful feeling.

With that being said, it's no surprise that love can drive us mad. Have you ever heard the saying 'madly in love'? It's proven that love can sometimes be difficult to differentiate from mental illness.

If this chemically altered state induced by romantic love is comparable to mental illness-- shouldn't we avoid it? Shouldn't we want to save ourselves?

The fact is absolutely not. The reason for this is because in the end, it's worth it. It's worth the stress, frustration, and yes, even the heartbreak. Without it, we are catastrophic.

My final thought is this:

We are human. We are flawed. In the end, we all want to be loved. From the poorest to the richest, the youngest to the oldest, and even the kindest to the cruelest. Our job as humans is to love intentionally and with that we can't go wrong.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.


To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Buying New Clothes Every Month Has Been The Key To Helping Me Become Happy With My Body Again

Loving my body in new outfits has boosted my self image so much.


Being body-positive has been really hard for me to do throughout 2019, despite there being an overwhelming surge in body-positivity around me, whether through my friends and family or YouTube. I look in the mirror and what I see is someone I want to make a jean size or two smaller like in the past. That being said, I've slowly been coming around to accepting the body I have now, instead of bashing it constantly. A key way I've come to accept the body I'm in now is through buying myself something new every month, like a new T-shirt or a pair of jeans or sneakers that help me see myself in a positive light. When I'm in a new outfit, I feel invincible. I don't think about how pudgy my stomach is, or about the hair I have growing in random places, like my neck or on my nose (yes, not just in, but ON too).

My bank account tends to suffer as of recently because of this, but it's worth it when I can genuinely feel good in what I am wearing every day. I like to wake up and think about how many outfits I can put together, ready to post my #OOTD for Snapchat without caring what anyone thinks. I've let social media dictate how I feel about myself more than I care to admit. I see how perfect all the models are in everything they're wearing from brands I know and love, yet when I try the same thing on, it's a whole different ugly story.

I don't enjoy trying things on to avoid the shame I feel when things don't fit me right, or if something that I thought would flatter me actually makes me look like a sack of potatoes. Instagram has really hurt my body image a lot — enough to make me delete it for a week after one post sent me spiraling. Going through those bumps made me finally realize it's not my fault if something doesn't fit. Sizes range depending on the item, it's the clothing items fault, not mine. Now that I see that, it's easier to brush off something not fitting me as it should. I know my size very well in the stores I frequent the most, so it's easier for me to pick out things I know will look good and not have to worry about the sizing issue.

Buying yourself something new is not something you should limit to every few months or longer. You shouldn't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone price wise every once and a while either. Coupons exist, stories always offer you them when you first sign up to receive emails and even texts. You can be crafty and still get a high price item for less. If you treat yourself to cheap things, you won't feel half as good as you want to. Granted, sticking to a limit is important but there's no shame in going over the limit every once and a while.

I love shopping as much as I love country music and writing short stories — a lot. Yes, I get yelled at almost every time I get something new. I need to save my money for important things, like for my sorority or for medical issues that could suddenly arise, or for utilities at my house next year off campus.

However, my mental well-being is not something I can ignore.

I can't push the good feelings aside to save 30 or 40 bucks a month. I don't want to feel as low as I've felt about myself anymore. I'm tired of feeling sad or angry at who I am, and I want to learn how to accept myself as I am. Buying myself something new, like clothes, is what offers a positive light to view myself under.

Whether you treat yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant, or to face masks, or to a new movie when it comes out — don't be afraid to do it. Put yourself first and you'll realize your worth and how much you've been ignoring it in the face of poor confidence.

My confidence isn't back up to where it used to be, but it's getting there.

It may not be the most cash efficient method of self-love, but my body positivity is better than it was a few months ago. Aerie and American Eagle have really helped me become happier with my body, and I can't thank them enough for being more inclusive for people like me who are learning to love themselves again in a new body.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us hoping to promote our own body positivity, and it could all start with a simple purchase from your favorite store after you read this.

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