“You met him on Tinder?” This shocked sentence is the typical response I get when I tell people about my boyfriend. Our one year anniversary was last October, and it all started with a Super Like. Yeah, believe it!
There’s a lot of disillusionment with Tinder, the popular dating app known for one-night stands and unsolicited dick pics. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of uncomfortable moments back when my Tinder account was active, so I understand why people are hesitant to use it. You’re also meeting up with strangers, which comes with its own share of risks.
But from my experience, you can use Tinder for more than just rebound sex with a total rando (although if you want that, go for it!). Here are 12 Tinder dos and don’ts that will help you find love with the push of a red, fiery button.
1. DON’T overdo it with the full-body photos.
I’m all for body positivity, but remember that you’re more than just legs, boobs, butt, or even a six-pack. One or two photos of you lounging on the beach in your favorite bikini or flexing post-workout is fine. If your whole profile is you scantily clad though, it might send out the wrong impression. To show you’re looking for something more, keep your Tinder photos lowkey with some simple selfies or fun candids.
2. DO ask your matches thoughtful questions.
Here’s a few to get you started (don’t force them though— casually slip them into the conversation in your own way): “What’s your major and why did you pick it?”; “What’s your favorite movie and why?; “What’s your dream job?”; “Where are your favorite places to hang out?” (This one’s great because it leads to setting up a date!)
3. DON’T swipe right on shirtless bathroom selfies.
If there’s something that screams “I’m shallow and insecure but please have sex with me,” it’s the shirtless bathroom selfie. Swiping right might benefit you if you’re looking for a quickie in some guy’s dorm room, but don’t expect guys parading their bodies around to want a lasting relationship.
And to my guys looking for love, keep those shirts on! Seriously. Save that for the girl or guy of your dreams. Make a good impression with some basic photos of you looking your best — with clothing!
4. DO be upfront about what you’re looking for.
All it takes is one question: “So what are you doing on Tinder?” Wait for their answer before revealing your intentions. My boyfriend was honest and said possibly a relationship. In the long run, honesty is the best policy, but don’t make it weird! I remember one match who said, after two days of texting me, that he deleted his Tinder because he was “so sure of me”...yikes.
5. DON’T heavily edit your photos.
If the love of your life is swiping through Tinder, you want them to fall in love with who you really are. So, don’t go overboard with the filters, airbrushing, tummy tucking, or makeup. You’ll get matches who are way less superficial, which is a great trait for a partner to have.
6. DO have a sense of humor.
We all have one, and Tinder is the place to show it! By being funny, you can break the ice and see if your match has a similar taste in jokes. A sense of humor is so important for a lasting relationship.
7. DON’T respond to the horndogs.
The matches are coming in, and that cute guy Joe Tinder just slid in your DM’s. You immediately open the app, excited and nervous. What did he say?
Joe Tinder: “damn girl, you’re fine as f**k ;) wanna meet up?”
The King of Romance has swept you off your feet! Just kidding. Block him. We all know what he’s looking for and it ain’t love.
8. DO read bios before swiping.
This gives you conversation ideas and shows the person you care about more than just looks. It’ll also give you a general feeling for whether you’re compatible or not. Hopefully, there is a bio to read — if not, it might be another Joe the Tinder Creep situation.
9. DON’T send one-word messages.
You finally got a DM that wasn’t outright asking for sex or “Hi.” Congratulations! Now actually have a conversation. Saying “good” when they ask how your day was or “lol” to a joke won’t cut it. Be interesting, but not fake. Be yourself!
10. DO talk about your passions.
Do you love music? Photography? Star Wars (my passion)? Let your Tinder matches know! Put some of your favorite ones in your bio. Your matches will likely bring them up and then you’ll be free to reveal your geeky side.
11. DON’T meet up with someone the day you match.
Now that you found a guy or gal who you vibe with (at least online), I’m sure you’re ready to take it to the next level. But hold on! You can’t rush love. Take some time — a week or more — to get to know this person before you even meet up with them. You can learn a lot about someone from just texting them, like that they’re not a 50-year-old man pretending to be Robert Tinder (Joe Tinder was the creep, remember?).
12. DO have fun and the rest will follow.
In the end, it all comes down to a little bit of luck, intuition, and the ability to open up to someone. Tinder is really just a bunch of regular lonely people looking for something to cure their loneliness. And sometimes, that thing is love after all. You never know! I didn’t, and now I’m in love with a guy I met on an app.
