"You can't have more than one best friend, Hanna."

Most people say you can't have more than one best friend because there can only be one person you spend most of your time with. I'd have to argue with that. I do my best to spend as much time with all of my friends as I can. However, if I hang out with one more than the other in the course of a week, does that mean that I love the person I didn't hang with less? No. I try to divide my time equally, but I also don't believe that "time spent" is a criterion for what makes a friend a best friend. What about college and dorming? You meet people who live so far from you, yet still consider them your best friend, even when all you do is facetime every week. My friend Joy and I didn't even meet in person, and we'll probably see each other in person about once a year. I've known her only for a short amount of time, yet I consider her one of my best friends because of our immediate connection. Another one of my best friends dorms at school when I commute. We'll keep in touch after graduation, but, of course, the relationship will be different. All in all, I'd say it's not about how much time you spend with each other, but how well that time is spent.

I always remember growing up with more than one best friend. I think this is partly because for several years, my best friends were twin sisters, and they come as a package deal. We're not as close, no, but I still keep consider them to be my good friends, and we still have a strong connection. When we hang out, it's the three of us. There's only one time I can remember hanging out with Sarah and not Kayla and vice versa. And it was weird! I felt like a traitor. I love them both in different ways, no way could I choose which one was "better." That's like choosing a favorite kid. I refuse.

I guess you could say I'm indecisive, but that's just the thing - how can I choose which friend I like more? It's not like my world started out with a set of friends and I was never given the opportunity to choose them myself. I mean if you think about it, friendship is kinda weird. Like, you just pick a human you've met and are like "Yup, I like this one." It's like a free vending machine, you just punch in some qualities and out pops your new BFF! It's like adopting a puppy and choosing the one that's most fitting for your personality. It's interesting because friendship is the one thing in life that's (under usual circumstances) not chosen for us.

We all meet a lot of people in our lives - acquaintances, coworkers, classmates, but only a few are lucky enough to make the title "friend." We're not going to befriend every person we interact with - we get to CHOOSE! We choose who we let in, and once they're let in, it's also our choice to let them out.

Because we choose our friends, I don't understand how it can seem so natural to pick the one we like better. Trying to pick out a best friend is like comparing an apple with an orange. They're both fruit that I like, that I CHOOSE to eat, but I like them for different reasons. That's exactly how friendship works. I choose my friends from the bunch, and because I choose them for different reasons, how can I say which is my favorite? How can I say that the one who makes me laugh is better than the one who is emotionally there for me? I can't. I can't compare those qualities because they're just as good and just as necessary in a friendship - but necessary in different ways.

One of my best friends is Eric. We've been friends for years, through thick and thin. When I go more than two days without seeing Eric, I go crazy. He makes it very clear how much he cares about me, and I know he'd do just about anything for me. Eric himself is a type of therapy you can't read about in a textbook. No one makes me laugh like Eric does... Our friendship is described as a very playful, goofy, sarcastic friendship. We play pranks on one other that most people would think are mean. They're not mean to us because those pranks, excessive text messages, sarcasm, and teasing are what paints the picture of our friendship - that's our love language. Eric could never be replaced.

Then there's Deanna, who I would never play a prank on, but is often involved in the pranks I play on others. Although our humor is different in some ways, it is easy to make Deanna laugh, and feels so good to laugh with her. She has amazing qualities! She is a leader. She's afraid to get things done, which is why I love having her as a partner. She takes initiative, responsibility, and is the most genuine person I've ever met. I need her for many reasons, but one of the things I respect the most about her is her honesty. She'll tell me like it is - when I'm making the wrong decision, being dumb, etc. Emotionally, she has been there for me in more ways than I can describe. She's sat with me in my counseling sessions because I've needed the support. We've prayed on campus in the oddest places, from hidden staircases to girl's bathroom to an elevator! When I'm in crisis, the first thing Deanna asks is if she can pray with me. She listens, and listens, and listens. I couldn't survive without her.

Then there's Amanda, my counterpart. I can't remember a time I was with Amanda when I didn't have fun. Even if we're doing things that aren't supposed to be fun, we make them fun. We hang out a lot because we have so much in common. Everything is an adventure with us! When I go skydiving one day, Amanda's the friend that I'd ask because she is so daring, courageous and full of life! Our sense of humor is essentially the exact same, so that helps too. There is never a dull moment with Amanda! Just like me, she has several blonde moments, brain farts, and gets confused easily. Not to mention, I need her as my board game buddy! The cool thing about her being so fun is that in a second, she can be serious when she needs to be. She's always there for a hug when I need it (which I need a lot!!!). Her heart is inspiring and there's not a mean bone in her. Also, generosity is one thing I really appreciate. She's generous in a way none of my other friends can compete with.

These three people that I just mentioned are my best friends. I choose them to be in my life for specific reasons. Do I love them all equally? Yes. Do I love them for the same reasons? No. That's the beauty and complexity of friendship - no friendship is the same but every friendship is needed for a different reason.

Of course, picking our friends is a two-way street - they have to choose you too. Somehow, these lovely individuals decided to pick me out of the bunch. I don't know why, but they did, and I'm eternally grateful. They've seen me at my worst, yet still bring out my best qualities. The ones who have been with me through hell and back, know my greatest flaws, and still love me anyway. They make me a better person. They've shown me what it's like to be a friend.

I refuse to put my friends on a pedestal with one another. I love them all too much to do that.

*From left to right* My life rafts - Amanda, Eric, Me, and Deanna, September 2017