About two weeks ago, I read a fairly offensive article: "9 Brutally Real Reasons Why Millennials Refuse To Have Kids" explaining why millennials don’t want kids, or more extensively, why millennials shouldn’t have kids, automatically grouping women who do choose to become mothers into some sort of weak, unprogressive cult. I almost felt inadequate writing this article, but felt like it was necessary to show gratitude to the mothers I know, especially millennial mothers who continue to go to school and work to support their children. In no way is this article meant to offend women who choose not to have children, just to show support to those who do. Reading this article made me want to vomit, and I felt like it was extremely necessary for a millennial like myself to list reasons why moms rock and to argue against some of the comments made against pregnancy and mothers in general.
“The world sucks now”.
This was one of the arguments that was used to persuade millennials not to have children. I’d like to say otherwise. Our society is in its most progressive era yet. Technology is still making outstanding improvements and inventions, society is making a social revolution that accepts people as they are and that proposes economic equality, and the United States is coming out of a recession, resulting in lower market prices, more affordable housing, and new jobs. Yes, we still problems, such as gun violence, terrorism, and environmental damage, but our children are what inspires us to become better people and to make the world a better place. To say the world sucks is to say the world is without hope and the millennial group cannot do anything to change the world to make it a better place. Our children give us a reason to change the world to give them a better life.
“We’re poor.”
The second argument. For most American citizens, this statement is incredibly wrong and incredibly offensive to those who are poor. Being poor is not having clean water. Being poor is surviving on the generosity and charity of the government and non-profit organizations. Going to college, getting an amazing education, and being in debt DOES NOT make you poor. Do not for one second compare yourself to those who are struggling to survive due to their state of poverty. I look at some of my friends who are teenage mothers, and I see some of the most inspiring women I know. Yes, they struggle, but they keep going to school or they keep going to their job – for their children. Yes, having children might be a financial burden, but again, children help inspire you to want that promotion, to want to work those extra hours, and to want to be financially stable.
“Pregnancy is not hot.”
Women are beautiful, and pregnancy is beautiful. Women are blessed with the capability to hold life with themselves and then to bring that life into the world, to bring possibility of change and goodness into the world. Not for one moment have I looked at a pregnant woman with disgust, but with admiration. Pregnancy and labor is a very crazy ordeal for the body, and any woman to choose to go through it is both brave and beautiful. The idea of having a child come of a woman’s body is gruesome to some people, but I have never met a mother who regretted the labor process because of the love for their child.
“We’ll ruin them with terrible parenting.”
I think of my parents and how they were before they had kids. My dad was involved in a lot of illicit activity and was a living very aimlessly without my mom and without faith. When he met my mom, he was in the military and had cleaned up his act. My mom was a nurse. Their lives were completely different before they had children. I think both of them would agree that parenting helped them become better versions of themselves. My mom has found a passion for teaching and my dad is a military vet as well as a mentor to those with drug abuse. With kids, both of them matured both in their spiritual lives and their adulthood, learning patience and selflessness. I don’t think that being reckless kids is an excuse to not have kids. I think having kids pushes people to be better versions of themselves by demanding maturity and responsibility.
“We want careers.”
Believe me, I totally get the whole mindset of wanting a career first and perhaps a family much later in life, because that’s the mindset I have. The women who can maintain both are some of the most powerful people I know. Some of the most influential people in the United States, such as Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton, are mothers and are still able to maintain careers. It’s not impossible, even though it is hard. The idea that you cannot have both is absolutely false.
These arguments made in the article I read are not unreasonable, but they are not 100% factual, and they completely degrade moms and the work they do for their children. I understand why kids aren’t for all people, but let’s respect and love our mothers…they work a lot harder than you think. Your mom is awesome. Call her up, and tell her you love her.
