I told her...

If only I am to be found in the sun again.

To feel wet unrelenting upon my neck

To ache in the cold moans of a world so wet

Felt leaves of color all around my invisibility

Leaves that colored me once more in my serenity

I groaned about the times it was wet and hot

And in those moments I yearn for a drier spot

Ached for my bones to stop aching in remembrance

Begging to arrive a soft winter solstice

And I remember three years…

Three full turns since that last time it crept

The lone, full winter on my door it stepped

Waved hello, and told me so, save heart in its cold breath

Icicles cast upon my face

With pain of knives held in grace

White dusty across my eyes

And a bleeding hymn through the trees cries

And wondered, how does the world change so

Even as I descend from a plane into snow

Hearing language unlike mine

To feel wrapped in care like your tree up n’ twine

And then winter took my hand and told me

Take heart in that change, hold you gently

I cried and smiled in her arms

Asleep I’ve fallen, skin twitching, white dust settled in the barn

Of the cool of my dreams

I walk slowly in the quiet, feet snowed at the seams

For as it snows, it surely does sow

Winter flowers made of spring

As creatures wail through the woods

They also laugh over firewood

That which we built together

Sowed hearts in bleeding tears together

Over flames of new

We as creatures twinkle our eyes in the sunrise

And dance by the firelight into twilight

And winters breath laughs along the blue haze

Reassure as I gaze into gray

Remind that I find a new time in skies coldly razed

In fact, that we are born around this time, humans ablaze

I heard her breath as she let go

Told me “It’ll be ok, you’ll know"

“With rain comes pain to grow”

Spring whispered in my ear, where flowers she sowed.

With these flowers in my ear I took haste

Kissed pollen and warm eyes embraced

With mine own.

I blinked and spring had gone

Left a trail, had colors galore, with her energy I’d gone numb.

I fell in love in summer and never stepped out

Summer kissed my face and I shout out

Sent me on my way with her wings

Took my tired body up upon her back,

Bled new life in me

Grew in my mind new anemones

Of safety, warmth, knowledge and the strive

Blanketed, musky scents, raw dirt teaching me more of life

She taught me how to kiss my hands,

Hands amassed in mud

Told me to love those tear glands

Those I once snuffed and shoved

Fed me with starred night skies and taught me knew routes

And at the end of the starred night, "I want to feel winter again” smoothed out of my mouth

Knowingly smiled and lay me down again

Stared into my veins and asked me how I felt in the end

"Forever”, I told summer.

But I must find myself in the stars again.

She sent me down to my love’s eyes once more.

And in new snows of life, with “I love you”, opened a door

Encrusted in snow, I had not seen before.

And with fire we breathed out.