Mothers are difficult to understand. They are the epitome of a juxtaposition, because while they put up a brave exterior, their hearts are made of velvet. They stand taller than any skyscraper, prouder than any sports fan, and filled with more love than any love potion. They believe in us before we learn to believe in ourselves, and cover our souls with ointment when it's been polluted with pain. Like a lotus flower, regardless of the muddy environment, mothers always emerge pure and strong. They protect us under their delicate, yet strong petals, and never let any harm enter.

I haven't seen my mama since July. I miss not only the aroma of her food filling up the house and the way she drinks chai so calmly every morning, but how she reminded me every day to be happy. I guess we don't realize how much we depend on one person, until we get older and move away from our mothers. We take for granted their role in our life, and, especially as teenagers, we wait for the moment the we can get rid of their overbearing presence. I am guilty of doing that more than once.

Being in college forced an immense change to occur in the relationship I shared with my mother. Being the oldest of four siblings and always pushed to be the best role model, my mother and I argued endlessly when I was growing up. I saw all of her nagging as her disregarding a desire to understand me, and I think she saw my stubbornness as a sign that I didn't care about her perspective. I think we were both wrong, and for some reason, it took being in my twenties and being across the country from one another to learn that. I'm grateful we've grown with each other because there is no one else I want to call when I am having a panic attack about an exam at 3:00 a.m. No one I aim to impress as much as my mother with my accomplishments.

All I want to tell her is, "Mama, I love you." I want to tell her, "Mama, you are the only love letter I need to write in order to have a smile on my face, and the only smile I need to write letters of love for days." You are gentle, you are strong, but most importantly you are mine, and for that I am the luckiest. You sail with beauty through life, and even when the wind blows you down, you keep me safe. I am lucky to grace your life, thanks for holding me in your stomach for nine months with great might.

As a last note, all I would like to say is I am sorry I don't call enough. I am sorry if I have ever let you down. I am sorry I eat Easy Mac on a daily basis, but most importantly I am sorry I don't say thank you enough.