I went to the store the other day and an elderly woman was cashing me out and what she said as I stood there with my friend discussing how relationships were awful, her words really hit me and I have been thinking about it ever since. She said, “I’m so sorry you had to grow up in this generation where love has died.” In that moment I felt my heart sink and my mind started racing. Is love really dead? No, it can’t be, I refused to believe it. But as I let her words resonate in my mind I thought about everyone around me. I am a child of divorced parents, one of my friend’s parents are in the process of divorce, relationships are crashing down all around me, and me myself is afraid to even get attached to someone because my heart has been ripped out just by one person. But then I thought about how my sisters are married, one was just married, my best friend has been in a relationship for almost two years now, my dad is remarried and happy, and my mother is happily with someone. Love can’t be dead.

When I was 6 I thought love was kisses goodnight, and I love yous as you ran out the door to go to school. When I was 10 I thought it was sharing food with your friends and telling secrets. When I was 14 I thought it was going to school dances with a boy, and holding hands because it was my first exposure to a relationship. When I was 16 I thought it was firsts, going out on dates, to prom, giving your heart to someone. But at 19 I’m now questioning what love really is in today’s world. I don’t want to think it’s Facebook posts, Instagram likes, Snapchats, and fighting with your partner whether or not it’s okay to like someone else’s picture. In books it's all about loving someone even if they have five dollars in their pocket, they are all about love at first sight and fighting for the person you want. In the movies it's chasing after someone, it's screaming at the top of your lungs at someone because you love them more than you could love yourself.

As a 19-year-old college student I refuse to believe love is random hookups until you find the person that is willing to deal with you for the rest of your lives or until their sick of you. I refuse to believe that love is changing your relationship status on Facebook and pretending to be happy even though you’re not. At 19 I still believe love is the kisses goodbye, and the I love you’s yelled as you head out the door because even though you are going to see that person later it’s the point to let them know. My 6-year-old self understood it but as time passed my perception of love got a little messed up. And I have society and social media to blame for a lot of it.

I stay reassured that love isn’t dead when I look at my family. Some people may think it’s a different kind of love than the kind you look for in a relationship but it’s love. They were the ones who taught me how to love in the first place, they were the ones who loved me even before I knew what love was or could even say the word. And they were the ones who my 6-year-old self was kissing goodnight and yelling the I love yous to as I ran out the door. My family are the ones who taught me how to love in the first place and society has taught me how not to love. Love is not dead, people just need to open their eyes.

This generation may suck with how it has defined and interpreted love but we as individuals are the ones making it be that way. Social media may be a new thing that has skyrocketed in this generation but cheating has always been a thing, heartbreak has always been a thing, and love has and always will be a thing. I believe love is out there underneath all of this fake, advertisement, social media kind of love. Love may be the kind you read in books where you love that person even if they have $5 in their pocket instead of $500, and it may be the movie kind of love where you scream at each other and chase after each other, but it’s your own love to make and believe in, not anybody else’s, not societies. Love is not dead, our perception of love is.