We've been fooled into thinking that love is an uncontrollable emotion that just happens to show up one day. But love is not an emotion.Love is a choice. It's a decision that you declare to uphold every day for someone who matters to you.
Our society is feelings-based. We're constantly being told to act on our emotions. "If it feels right, go for it." This is not the correct way to live. Our feelings and our emotions are ever-changing. They are not permanent nor do they give us a strong foundation to make good decisions.
Treating love as a feeling will only set you up for failure. One day you'll feel great sitting next to your partner, but another day you'll feel quite upset with them. But if you decide to love them daily throughout those different emotions, then you have a real connection.
Acting on feelings rather than decisions creates an unbalanced life that's built on ever-changing ground. Our emotions are not to be trusted. One day we might feel like we love someone and the next day, we might not. Because love as an emotion is temporary. But a decision to love someone is permanent. It's looking at the whole picture and remembering that hey, sometimes I might not like you, but I'm always going to strive to love you through those rough periods.
The reason we decide to love someone is that we truly see who they are. We look at every part of their personality, and we know that they are the one who is worth fighting for against our unpredictable emotions.
It's about choosing to forgive and let go of some of our expectations because love is a decision, not an emotion. If love was an emotion, when you experience those differences and feel upset, you think it'll never work. But if you decide that love is a choice, you'll be able to stand back and realize that differences are okay and it just takes time to adjust.
It's not about settling for less, but about accepting that you are not perfect and your "knight in shining armor" doesn't exist. You find the person who's worth fighting for and you decide every day to wake up and love them. Even when they upset you, you forget them and still show love. Even when they disappoint you, you show love.
If you find someone who also views love as a decision, they'll be doing the same thing for you. It's a constant give and take that comes from deciding that each setback is not a full deal breaker, but rather a chance to know and understand your partner better.
Treating love as a decision rather than emotion gives you control. It takes away the uncertainty and shows you that yes, love is real. But it's not really an emotion that just lasts forever, it's a decision you make to act on an emotion forever.