Now I know Valentine's Day has come and gone, and the life of romantics everywhere has returned to normal. But I think now is the perfect time to examine what love really is, and how it can be misinterpreted when romanticized by flowers and chocolate.
There is a difference between love and in love. As many students on Wheaton's campus know, English is a language not very precise when it comes to defining these terms, especially in comparison to, say, Hebrew. The Bible commands us to love our neighbors, to love God, to love our spouses, to love our family, to love our enemies, and to love ourselves (not necessarily in that order, but you get the point). But it would be ridiculous to say that "in love" is the type of relationship God has in mind for all these categories, as it would be almost equally irrational to say that being in love is immoral or discouraged. A whole book of the Bible is dedicated to describing what "in love" should look like (shout out to Dr. Ryken's chapel series). And so because of these extremes being ruled out, we are left with an undefined concept of the distinction and its necessary applications.
You don't have to be in love to love somebody.
At first glance, this statement is not all that controversial. I love my friends, my parents, my siblings, my teachers, etc., but I am not in love with any of them. But then we get into the topic of romantic relationships and eventually marriage. Divorce rates are skyrocketing at all time highs, and I can tell you without doing any research that one of the number one reasons for that is that people have a misconception contradicting my claim above. They think that marriage and romantic relationships require them to be in love to love each other. Friends, that's just not true. Of course, being in love is certainly helpful. You get the butterfly feeling in your stomach, you enjoy being around your significant other, and you actually want to make them happy. These are all things that help a relationship progress. But none of these things are required to love.
Love is being there for the other person when you don't want to be, when you feel uncomfortable. Love is self-sacrifice. Love is a choice, not a feeling. If love was something we did not have the power to control at all times, it would not be a commandment issued to humanity by God Himself.
I believe God intends good things for His children. I believe bad things happen because of our fallen nature. And because these two things are not mutually exclusive, I believe that love is a choice, and in love is a gift. Choose to receive Christ's being in love with you.
