At a young age, we are bombarded by the idea of mushy, sappy, over-the-top love. We are told that we are all supposed to find someone who will sweep us off our feet, that once we meet them, we will live blissfully, happily ever after. I too was once a sucker for romantic comedies, ones that over simplified dating and left out all the stuff that actually happens.
Bearing witness to countless broken hearts, failed marriages, and unkept promises made me doubt the longevity of lasting love and other people’s intentions. I don’t want to be a Debby-downer, but modern dating comes across as kind of a losing game. Look at it this way: worst-case scenario, you get your heart broken into a million pieces, left with trust issues and weight gain from all the excessive amounts of ice cream consumed. Best case scenario, you and your partner fall in love and live a happy life together until you either die or get divorced.
The only guarantee in the dating game is that you are going to get hurt. But then again, aren’t you bound to get hurt, anyway, in life? Shouldn’t you at least get a little choice in what (or who) hurts you? Doesn’t that make life a little more fun?
The problem with love isn't love itself, the problem is our expectations. We either expect to meet someone who fits our fixed criteria, that every moment in the relationship will be starry-eyed and enchanting or we expect that we won't find someone to love us, that heartbreak is inevitable. Once we let go of these preconceived notions of love, dating and relationships aren't so disappointing.
A word to the pessimists: you don't need to be a hopeless romantic to cater to modern dating. However, there's nothing wrong with opening yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone who will make you forget your cynicism.
Love isn’t perfect. It’s not always butterflies doing somersaults in your stomach. You probably aren’t going to have the desire to chase their taxi across town and confess your devotion to them in the middle of a crowded airport.
But, love is good, really good. It’s staying up til four in the morning describing your childhood bedroom and laughing about your shared distrust of over-enthusiastic tour guides. It’s lazy Sunday mornings and weekend getaways. It’s forgetting the fancy dates and just enjoying each other’s company. It’s meeting someone who reluctantly watches those romantic comedies you used to love; Because even though you don’t fit into the movie’s fictitious portrayal of love, you still know you’ve got something good.
