Sorority women are always defending their organization and the Greek system, but it is very rare that you see fraternity men writing Odyssey articles or posts defending joining Greek life. There are a few, but they are not as common as the articles about why you shouldn’t join Greek life or why being in a sorority is for you. Maybe fraternity men don’t feel the need to justify themselves, or they don’t feel writing articles to be shared is an effective way to reach out to people. Or maybe they just don’t really care what people think.
When I first joined my sorority, I was not the biggest proponent of fraternities. I was glad for my male friends who got bids, but other than that, I pretty much stayed away. I had began reading TFM regularly and dated the president of a fraternity at PSU in the beginning of my sophomore year, but these were not huge caricatures of what fraternity really is. It wasn’t until second semester sophomore year that I really started hanging out with fraternities and began appreciating them for their uniqueness.
Now that I am in my second semester of junior year and have spent the last year with the majority of my free time on different frat couches, and some of my closest friends are fraternity men, I think I have more of a grasp on what being in a fraternity actually is.
I’m not going to lie, there is definitely alcohol, and I’ve seen a few physical skirmishes, but there is a friendship despite all that. Behind the beer and blows, there is a camaraderie. In a society where men are taught to be super masculine and any emotion means that they are weak (I think fraternity culture can sometimes perpetuate this as well, but baby steps, people, baby steps), these small acts of brotherhood make my heart happy. They aren’t outright and obnoxious like sorority girls can be with a hundred #WCW and “I LOVE MY LITTLE” posts, and that is perhaps what makes these moments all the more special.
Once over the summer, I was giving a tour to an alum of a fraternity that used to live on the floor that I live on now. He ended up giving me more of a tour. He took me from room to room and told me stories about the rooms or the brothers that lived there. He took me back 40 years, and I could see the smile in his eyes. Not all his stories were pretty, like the time he stood by the water fountain and his pledge class (that was just him) got yelled at for not working together. He told me about their dog and the senior, Moose, that lived in the end room that he was terrified of but doesn’t know why. I could tell how happy he was to remember his brothers and his time in a fraternity. He did all this while changing the structure of the student government drastically. For taking him on the tour, he offered me any internship I wanted in his office or any recommendation letter I wanted if an internship didn’t work out. That’s how much he appreciated the refresher.
He was probably one of the most influential student body presidents my school has seen. Now he is a senator. That’s because “frat boys” actually run sh*t. They are some of the most influential people on campus. Three class officers and one executive board member of the Student Senate are in fraternities. Off the top of my head, I can name five club presidents who are also fraternity men.
It’s not about the “babes,” either. Rush t*ts are not the norm. I have spent many more nights ending with pizza on a couch with half the brotherhood in a room than I have seen boys go home with random girls.
As much as I love my sisters, and I am definitely a girl, there is a part of me that kind of wishes I was in a fraternity. I don’t particularly like knuckle sandwiches or Natty light, but something about it is very charming. Maybe it is the boat shoes and crooked ties. Next time you see a fraternity brother tackle another to the floor, remember that they are going to come up laughing, and watch their goofy smiles as they all link arms when “Wagon Wheel” comes on.
I’m not a sweetheart and, yeah, like every sorority girl, I have a favorite fraternity on campus, but that fluctuates, and I don’t have any real stake in any of them, and if Greek life is just not for you, that’s fine -- I just think fraternity men deserve more than they are given.
