Last week I wrote an article called "Never Again, Again," which if you haven't read it yet, start there. What started as an article about ridding toxic people out of your life, turned into me realizing that my article was a poor excuse for me not getting along with people. This article is its sequel.
We have no right to decide who gets to stay in our life and who goes. That is going to sort itself out on its own. Now I understand that LOVING EVERYONE ISN'T EASY, and it's also not natural. I struggle with it daily. You may not agree with them, they may treat you bad, but that's still OK. You're not required to love WHAT THEY DO/SAY, but you have to put the effort in, to not retaliate poorly. Yes, stand up for what you believe in and stand up for yourself, but FIGHT FAIR. Use words wisely and think through what you're going to say, before you say it. ASK FOR ADVICE, there are plenty of mature people in your life who you trust and can confide in them. Explain to them what the situation is and that you want to handle it wisely.
Accept now that YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE. They are who they are. Maybe change will come as a result of how you react, but it also might not. If you learn to not EXPECT THINGS OUT OF PEOPLE, you are less likely to be disappointed when it didn't happen. Being that humans are unique, we all react differently, think differently, and justify things differently. We all hold different values, morals, and beliefs. Try to accept them for who they are.
LOVING THEM DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO BE FRIENDS, or even like them. This sounds odd, but you don't have to force yourself into hanging out with them and trying to be best buds. Love them from afar. Love them by doing things that maybe come about indirectly. They may not see what you're doing or recognize it, but that's not necessary. For example, you may not like what someone did to you, but instead of trying to turn all of your mutual friends against that other person, leave them out of it. That's a form of love. They didn't harm anyone else, and so it's not your right to turn the others against them. They get to make that decision on their own.
Love comes in so many forms, and it's not just for your friends and family. LOVE STRANGERS TOO. That seems weird. Yeah, I know, but you can show love in so many ways. Pay it forward, let someone merge in, in front of you. It's so simple. We get in a rush and forget that life is short. Make someone smile by smiling at them. Compliment them on their outfit. It's too easy and too neglected in our society.
So here it is, part one of however many articles I come up with. I learn as I go and frankly, I have a lot more to learn, but I'm trying. This topic has been a struggle for me as I'm sure it is for many others as well. Keep your head up, you'll make it.
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear but one of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
