Everyone is flawed.
Everyone has always been flawed.
Everyone will always be flawed.
Yet so many people try to “fix” their significant other's flaws. So many people ignore critical issues in a person and commit to a relationship with them, thinking they will be able to fix those problems through dating them. These people spend their entire relationships nitpicking what is wrong with their significant other and how they can change.
Love shouldn’t say, “You need to be different.”
Love is supposed to say “I know you aren’t perfect, but you’re perfect to me.”
(Newsflash: you aren’t perfect either.)
When you commit to someone, you are agreeing to accept them for who they are and loving them through all of it.
When you enter a relationship with someone, that person shouldn’t be your project. If there are major issues that the person has or that your relationship has, don’t date them.
A healthy relationship requires respect rather than criticism.It is normal for there to be critical things that must change within a person before you can date them, but make sure those important things are resolved beforehand.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn't recognize their faults, because everyone will have them, or that you won’t support them as they better themselves. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t confront issues with your significant other as they come up or let problems slide.
A healthy relationship means you love and accept them despite where they fall short, because they do the same for you. It means their process of bettering themselves isn’t dependent on you. You should be a source of support and encouragement instead of condescension and superiority. Don’t try to pull them along behind you; walk right by their side.
Despite your best efforts, you will never make a person flawless. If you think that you’re going to make a broken person whole again, give them the respect they deserve and stop trying now.
When you date someone to try to fix them, the relationship is immediately disjointed. When that relationship ends, you will hurt them and yourself. You can’t expect perfection when people are inherently imperfect. Save yourselves the time and effort and remember before you begin a dating relationship that a significant other is a person to love unconditionally, not a bunch of problems to fix.