Love Does Have Borders
Start writing a post
Relationships

Love Does Have Borders

How narrow mindsets are plaguing the Christian college dating scene.

17
Love Does Have Borders
playbuzz.com

In awkward lessons at youth group, most of us became familiar with the dating rhetoric that dominates Evangelical teen sex ethics. In brief, we were convinced to refrain from particular sexual activities in order to foster a fulfilling marriage. While attempting to give guidance in navigating the confusing world of dating, a key failure in promoting this narrative is the assumption that both members of the relationship will hold the dominant racial background.

When it comes to love, women of color are certain to experience discriminatory mistreatment. For a long time it was frowned upon for black women to wear their natural hair, as boys were more likely to approach them if their hair was straight. As a result of being labeled “model minorities”, Asian women are given unfair expectations in relationships, unable to meet perfectionist minded expectations. Latin American women suffer too, and are frequently characterized as exotic creatures that need to be tamed. Indeed, such realities stem from media outlets defining beauty on uncontrollable issues such as body type and skin color. And in an environment that highly values marriage to the point of shaming singleness, it too easy to blame oneself for not being “pretty enough”, rather than challenge the racist expectations put on women in Wheaton College.

While each human being is a gift from the Father, the realities of systemic sexual sin objectify image bearers into sex objects. Christian dating manuals, while promoting healthy sexual behaviour, fail to address the biases of who we are most likely to become attracted to in dating. When appearances of physical beauty (which are only culturally relative) are continually praised higher than moral character, it seems that “

Christian” dating has no more to offer people of color than “secular” dating. Imagine if all Christian women were not valued simply for their physical beauty, but also for their spiritual maturity. Imagine if Christian men were not immediately admired for their physical prowess, but for their willingness to listen to their sisters and obey God. Our decisions in how we present ourselves, and the desires we prioritize in a spouse need to be less about pleasing temporary appetites and instead center on pleasing God together in a healthy relationship.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

56224
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

36227
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958164
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

187942
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments