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Health and Wellness

You Should Go And Love Yourself

Embracing my flaws for a summer of self-love (and selfies).

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You Should Go And Love Yourself
Colleen Kozacheck

Love. It's a word that is thrown around a lot. We need more love. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Love. Love. Love.

More and more, the concept of self-love has become prominent in our society. Women and men are attempting to squash the societal standards and expectations they are subjected to and rather, accepting and embracing who they are.

I want to start off by saying that there are a lot of things I love about myself.

I'm an avid reader. I'm driven and determined. I'm kind and compassionate. I have a good work ethic. I'm passionate.

But, like everyone in this world, I have insecurities. As a child and young girl, I was overweight (something I've already exposed on the internet in a previous Odyssey article). Although I lost the weight, I never truly lost the insecurity. I know I am not the same size I was, however, there are moments when I feel like I am.

It can happen at any time. I could be getting ready for class or at a party and suddenly I feel like I used to: like everyone is smaller than me and I am being pointed and gawked at for my weight. I have to clutch my waist to remind myself now I am healthy. I am not overweight, I am not that little girl anymore.

Those brief moments where I am made to feel like that, make me sick. I am unsure if they will ever go away.

People who claimed to love me or be my friend, would sometimes prey on those brief moments. They would make comments about my weight in an attempt to feel better about themselves while simultaneously destroying the confidence I tried so hard to maintain.

I always believed I was an avid promoter of self-love and confidence. I want people to see their worth and love themselves. However, as much as I like who I am and love my interests, I do not love the body I am in. And in many ways that made me feel like a traitor.

There are days when I look in the mirror and hate the person that stares back at me. Self-love is not something that can happen overnight. I have struggled with it for years. Although I am better off than what I have been before, I am not perfect.

That's why I love the social media movements that are taking place, particularly the Instagram hashtag Love Your Body.

I'm unsure about you, but my timeline has been filled with beautiful people in their bikinis at the beach looking happywhile I travel from one job to the next in the dreams of getting the funds to go abroad this spring semester. Although I know it's a filtered reality, I kept thinking how unhappy I was with how I looked, how happy they looked. I gained weight this past semester which caused a panicked breakdown to my mom about how much I hated myself.

Though I already lost the few pounds I had gained, I was angry at myself for yet again letting a number on the scale define me.

I decided that this summer would be one of self-discovery and self-love. I decided I would not lose weight but rather focus on becoming the healthiest version of myself possible.

I decided that in order to do so, I had to embrace my flaws and not only accept the body I am in, but realize that this body is a treasure. In order to do that, I had to think about the flaws I hated the most about my body.

I have scars from when my appendix was removed in my junior year of high school. They never tan so in the summer time when my fair skin gets (barely any) color, they're more visible. They remind me of a time when I had to be strong.

I get a red line from when I sit down and my stomach (like everyone else's stomach) folds. They are a reminder that I am lucky enough to have a full stomach.

I have scars from when I got the chicken pox when I was 18. One is on the center of my nose. The others are on my wrist and my back. My friends claim my nose scar is cute, like a dimple. I'm beginning to agree.

I have big thighs. They remind me of my days of volleyball. They are a symbol of the strength which I walk with every single day as I continue to work hard in order to fulfill my dreams.

I have freckles all over my body. It is an indication of the pale skin that will never truly "tan" but rather burn. They're fun to connect the dots with when I'm bored.

My front tooth is chipped. Although it is only a tiny chip, it's still there. Yet, people say my smile is one of my best attributes.

The skin around my nails is frayed from my nervous picking, pulling, and biting. It is a reminder that though I struggle with being anxious, I still face some of my biggest fears.

There are plenty of things I could nitpick about myself and my body. There are things that I once wished I could have and still things I know I will never have: a 6-pack, a size 00 body, a number on the scale that is less than 140. And I am beginning to be okay with that.

Every body is unique in it's own way. Every body, flaws and all, tells a story. Mine does. So does yours.

This summer, I vow to discover myself, my passions, my interests, and who I am supposed to be as I begin the next chapter of my life. But above else, I promise to nurture and love the one body I have been given. I promise to feed my body fuel and work my body out in order to be the healthiest version of myself so I can climb every mountain, paddle every stream, and cross every ocean I want to.

I promise to embrace every thing I have ever hated about myself with no intentions of changing them. Because those things make me me.

I promise to love my body in the campaign #loveyourbody and I hope you all can do the same.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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