They say that a lot can change in just one year, but I never used to believe that. I guess it had to do with the fact that I always seemed to be busy and kept my mind off certain things going on in my life. College was a big distraction for me, but after graduating last year and now being out for almost a year, I realize how much can change in one year once you stop to take a much-needed breath that you've kept in for so long and really see what's around you.

You being to notice a lot of things you didn't see before. And I'm not just talking about the change in weather going from hot to cold or the seasons going from leaves falling to snow on the ground and flowers blooming. You start to look back and reflect on the moments that you didn't get the time to fully register during that exact time.

When I first graduated college last May, I thought I had my entire life figured out. Everything was planned and the only thing I needed to do was act on it and it would all work out. Well, let me tell you something, my plans didn't work out. I don't have a full-time job in my major, I'm not financially stable, I'm not moved out of my house and living independently, I haven't written extensively in months, and my plans to going to grad school aren't working out the way I thought they would.

You would think to look at all that disappointment would bring me down and you're right, but you're also wrong too. No, I don't have my entire life figured out like I thought I would, but I also don't absolutely hate where I am right now in my life either. Is it exactly how I thought I would see myself right now? No. But does that mean I need to give up and accept the fact that I won't make it to where I want to be in life? Absolutely not.

If anything, trying to maneuver through this obstacle called life has made me into a better and stronger person. It's taught me that in life, you don't get everything handed to you just because you think you deserve it. You have to work hard, so hard that even in the end you don't end up coming out on top. And that sucks.

It sucks to know that you could do everything right, or be the right candidate for a job and put so much effort into something only to be beaten by someone or something better than you. And as much as I'd like to curl up into a ball and cry over it, I can't do that. Because I've gone through too much during my time in this world so far for me to break and say, "I give up."

This past year has not been the year I thought it would be, but I'm okay with this. A lot of things in my life have changed for the better and also for the worst. So, I haven't gotten a full-time job yet in my major, but I also got to quit my job I've been at for five years and was miserable at and started a new job I love going to.

So, I'm not financially stable and I've had times and months where I've had to live paycheck to paycheck to barely make things meet. But that doesn't mean I'm still not having fun or doing things I love. It just means I have to be more stable when it comes to my money.

So, I'm not moved out of my house and living on my own yet, but that doesn't mean it won't happen down the road. Besides, I'd miss my mom too much and calling her up isn't the same as going downstairs to talk to her face-to-face.

So, I haven't been writing as much as I'd like to be, but that doesn't mean I haven't been writing at all. I keep up with Odyssey and my two internships and to be honest, writing for all of these platforms has made me appreciate writing more and inspired me to get my novel and poetry book started.

So, my plans for grad school aren't working out the way I thought it would, but that doesn't mean I'll never get the chance to go. I plan on going, but will it be my dream school? Probably not and that's just something I need to get over. Because at the end of the day, getting my degree will be more rewarding at whatever college I choose to go to.

Yeah, there are days that I get upset about the way my life has been. Yeah, my anxiety has been hard to manage with the change and my plans not working out. Yeah, I've had to witness a lot this year with both my dog being put down and my mom going through hell and back. And yeah, I'd be lying if I said I could handle all of it.

But, I don't like to focus a lot on the bad and instead, I like to see all the good that has happened to me. I've learned to become more independent and do things that used to scare me. I've learned to appreciate the little things in life more.

I've learned that you can go from being with a string of terrible guys to the point where you want to completely give up on the idea of love and then out of nowhere, that person you've been waiting for so long to come and change your mind shows up and your plans in your life change to include him now too. He wasn't apart of my plan and I've never been happier to see my plans alter. And I've learned that happiness is so important and when you feel that way, you grab it and never let it go.

So, yes, a lot can change in one year, and that's okay. I'm no longer trying to devise a plan for the rest of my life. And as scary as that is for me, I'm learning to take one day at a time and see wherever life takes me.