I have been asked, “So what are you going to do after college” so many times just this year that it has prompted me to stay up in the late hours of the night to work on this article to try and figure it out. Am I going to figure it out by the end of approximately 568 words? Probably not, but it’s worth a shot I suppose.
You would think by my senior year, I would somewhat have it figured out, but alas, I am trying to figure out my path on a circuitous map of life. Yes, I know my overall goal is to help children someday (I am a Secondary Education English major), but I have lots of options and questions. Do I want to go to graduate school or go right into the classroom? What does the GRE even stand for? Do I want to teach domestically or internationally? Where do I want to end up? I don’t have the answers to any of these questions because first off, I don’t even know what I’m having for lunch until I open the fridge and secondly, I am still exploring my options.
Honestly, I get really jealous of people who have it figured out—or act like they do. It seems like every time I get on a social media platform, someone is announcing that their bomb internship resulted in a big kid job, someone else is engaged, or someone is traveling the world doing amazing things with their life. Meanwhile, I’m over here breaking out in hot sweats anytime anyone says the word graduation.
I can guess a lot of my apprehension comes from the fact that I have gotten used to “college.” I have successfully figured out how to keep my head above water balancing classes and extracurricular activities. I know how to make a good cup of coffee and it is perfectly acceptable for me to eat mac'n'cheese on a daily basis. I know most of the shortcuts to get to class on time and I have made really good friends here. I finally feel comfortable where I am and the fact that I will have to pick up everything and make another huge life change shortly really freaks me out.
However, I am finding as time goes on, it is OK for me to not have it figured out. One of the beauties in life is slowly discovering where you will go or what you will be. I am a blank slate that is ready to be filled with stories of adventures, love, heart break and surprises. Of course, sometimes I wish—especially when the anxiety is crippling—I had signs pointing me in the right direction, but I guess the fun of life would be lost if that were the case.
It is starting to get around my word limit and I have to admit, I feel better after composing this piece. Through writing out my anxieties I have realized that everything that brings me comfort now can help me through my big transition. And heck, who cares if I eat mac'n'cheese everyday as long as I stay away from a state of hanger? I know that it will all be OK and that I have time. That’s the wondrous thing about being young. The world is ours for the taking and our possibilities are endless.
