I moved 400 miles away from home to work at my dream job. I’m going to school studying what I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve met some great friends here, I still talk to my friends from home almost every day.

Why do I feel stuck? Why do I feel like I’m not doing anything with my life?

It’s January 18th, and I’m moving home in six days. I moved 400 miles away to stay here for three and a half months. Good job Ethan! Why though?

I didn’t like Disneyland as much as I thought, but I stayed there. I realized why I didn't like it, confronted the problem and ended up leaving. Don't say I didn't try. I’ve been working at Starbucks for four years in February, I transferred to my store in Orange County and between Disneyland and Starbucks, I felt so burnt out.

Hell, I haven’t even started school yet. I withdrew from CSU Fullerton because I’m moving back home, and I don’t even want to imagine how I’m going to feel when I end up going to school from 7:15 am to 5:30 pm, two days a week for five months straight two days after I get moved in.

Something I’ve learned in my 20 years of life is the meaning of balance, self-worth and boundaries, three lessons which have exploded in the three months I’ve lived in Orange County. Balance is probably my number one lesson. Balancing both jobs, school, a social life and meeting new people is so much harder than anyone ever told me it would be.

I’m trying to balance working 4 am-12 pm five days a week, 5-11 pm four days a week, a majority of the same days, meeting friends either at work, online or in public, running errands, hanging out with my roommates, eventually finding time to study AND having time to myself.

I’m a firm believer in treating yourself to a certain extent. I love going to get a massage, haircut, even a pedicure. I love going to the movies, out downtown and just having a good time. It makes me feel sane, especially after working a 50-80 hour week between both jobs.

Self-worth, something that took me 18 years to even begin to understand. I am my own person. No one can tell me what to do, where to be, how to act, how to dress, how to feel, what to say, who to date or how to live my life. That’s the most important lesson I feel anyone learns in their lifetime.

I was so caught up in trying to be the coolest person in my friend group, to have the nicest clothes, drive the nicest car and do the sickest things, that I lost control of myself. I forgot who the real Ethan was for a second. Just a second, though, because I realized no friends are worth losing yourself over and trying to impress.

I don’t quite understand why people think they need to impress their “friends” just to be cool. If they’re your friends, they’re going to love you no matter what car you drive, brand you wear or phone you have. No one, and I mean no one, is worth losing yourself over.

Something I’ve learned in my short time moving away from everyone I know and love is this. You’re going to be out of your comfort zone, sometimes a lot – and that’s perfectly OK. Stick with it, try and work it out. If it doesn’t work, that’s OK. You tried it.

Don’t give up.

Keep working, keep adjusting, meet people, do things that make you happy, treat yourself, get a pet, get a haircut, get that manicure, buy that CD, go to that restaurant you’ve always wanted to try.

No one is telling you that you can’t. You deserve it. If it makes you happy, no matter what it is, just freakin’ do it. What are you gonna lose? NOTHING.

Life is about taking risks, finding yourself and being happy. If you died tomorrow, would you be happy with how you lived today?