This is an excerpt/legend that I have written as part of a book I'm working on. I would love it if you could leave your feedback so I can improve my story and make this legend better.
In the story, the world ended many years ago at the hands of scientists, leaving behind a wasteland of toxic gas, and two civilizations have risen from the ruins. One is known as the Corrupted, people with pale skin and sunken dark eyes that have been condemned to live in the ruins of the former world. The second is the Central Base, also known as the Walled City, which are normal people that live in a suspicious utopia, sealed off from the world by towering walls. The son of the Central Base's leader meets with a member of the Corrupted and ended up speaking of a legend told within the Base. Unknowing to him that legend was horribly false and even offensive, so the Corrupted he had met with decides to tell him the true lost legend.
"Now you stop right there you privileged son of the city. Don't you go around saying those things. Not to us; not to anyone you call Corrupted. You don't know the truth. You don't know who that man who walks your walls is. But don't you worry. Sit. I'll tell you who he is. I'll tell you the true legend. Not that utterly stupid propaganda you've been fed all your life.
“That man you see walking around your walls, the one you call a Corrupted, one of us, is not the person you believe him to be. He is not wasting away like we are. He is not the one who stalks your city, your walls, searching for the weak spot. He is not there to cause any harm or ill will. He is not a figment of your imagination or an accumulation of your fears. He is merely the Lost One.
“Some claim he's a god, the Lost God they say. But names and titles do not matter to him, for he has been lost too long to care. The only things he owns are what he wears, a trenchcoat of tattered white rags, pants stained blackish green from years out here, and a dark gas mask that covers his grieving face.
“We see him every night, wading through the toxic cloud just to reach your walls. For within those walls lays his former home, within those walls his sons lay their heads down to rest. Four sons that don’t know that their true father wastes away out there with us. Four sons that don’t realize they live in the house of the Perjurer, the house of a False God. Four sons that no longer know the face of their true father.
“So every night he wades to your walls, despite the danger. And he walks around them, four slow times. One time for each son that he has lost, one time for each son that he was forced to abandon. Yes, I mean forced to abandon, meant to forget. For the False God is his brother, a brother that coerced him into giving up power. A brother that threatened to kill the Lost God's sons if he did not.
"The Lost One, the Lost God gave up his powers whether they be governmental or supernatural, and fled. He fled your walled city to save his family, his sons. He fled deep into the wasteland, deep into our home, and hide. Now all he can do is visit. And walk around your city in remembrance of what he's lost.
"So as you can see, he will continue this cycle, walking around your walled city, every night till his body finally gives out or his soul fully breaks. But if he is a god like some say, like many believe, he will continue on for an eternity. Mourning."
