I’m not sure any social norm confuses me more than the so-called “rules” of communication our generation has created. People always tell me I have to wait at least 15 minutes before replying to a guys’ text, but I also must reply with in the hour, in order to show I am interested but not obsessive. Well, I never followed that advice and I never will. I reply to text messages when I feel like it, whether that is 2 minutes after it was sent or a few hours later when my absent-minded self remembers that I forgot to text back. 

Texting rules are honestly a complete waste of time. Spending your day harping on when to text back and how to text back in the right manner is exhausting. Who has the time for that? The time it takes to analyze text messages is time that could be spent doing something productive or fun. Plus, text conversations tend to be bad representations of someone’s true self. I know that I personally have a different texting personality than my actual, real-life personality. Texting someone all the time takes away from the actual, real time you spend with the person.

The “rules” of texting, snapchatting, and social media photo liking have created a serious issue with communication for our generation. I know, I know, I know – “texting has ruined conversation” is something we have all heard from our parents at some point, and it’s a little overstated these days. However, I think it is an issue worth discussing. 

This trend of communication that everyone seems to be following ironically ends in nothing but misunderstanding, and as the old saying goes, “there is no greater distance between two people than misunderstanding.”

The funny thing about college is that it’s an environment where you meet lots and lots of people; however, most college relationships extend no deeper than a shared interest in booze, parties, and late night bingeing. But every now and then you find yourself actually connecting with someone on things other than casual party talk. A genuine connection is a rare find these days, and it is something that should be held on to, rather than pushed away.

However, pushing away real feelings is a very popular practice these days. There is a certain stigma attached to showing interest, leaving people to play the game of “who can care the least.” So what exactly does this game of “I can ignore you better than you can ignore me” lead to? A lot of people who care a whole lot pretending not to care at all and, ultimately, getting nothing they want in return. No one wants to look or feel stupid, that’s a given. Even so, the miscommunication becomes too damaging, thus leaving two people completely lost in translation.

So how do we build and strengthen the relationships in our lives? First, we stop following these unwritten rules of communication. If you miss someone, call them. If you like someone, tell them. If you want to end things with someone, end things. It’s a rare thing these days to have someone sit down and tell you exactly what they want from you, but it is the most refreshing experience when someone does in fact lay their feelings on the line. It is something everyone deserves.

Next time you communicate with someone, just remember this: Be clear. Be honest. Be intentional. At the end of the day, that is the only kind of communication worth having. Everything else is just a waste of time.