To the friends I left behind when I left for college:
Losing friends may be one of the toughest things to experience. Especially when you are off to a new adventure like college. Sure, we all did it, but I made the mistake of losing touch with some of my best friends. I was surrounded by something new and exciting and I let go of my high school past. College friendships and relationships are so different than in high school, and they aren't something that someone can be prepared to experience. College to me was finding out who I was and growing into the person that I wanted to be.
Having my first term of my sophomore year almost complete, all I can think about is how I will go home for fall break and I won't have a single friend back home. I have met some of my best friends here at school, but I still long for the people back home that somehow know everything about me even if we haven't talked in weeks. I wish I had friends from home that would come and visit, but I lost that at the end of my freshman year. Without going into detail I made the mistake of fighting with my best friend and pretty much said I didn't want to talk to her anymore. Looking back on the situation I wish I had just bit my tongue. By fighting with that one person, I basically cut myself out of the friend group.
So to the friends I left behind, and to anyone that has lost a friend;
From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.
As my first year progressed, I felt as though I didn't have an obligation to keep in touch anymore. We all grew apart, and I would be surprised if you didn't agree. People aren't kidding when they say that you will change as a person in college. Sure, our fall-out was probably preventable, but it's too late to go back now. I'll take the majority of the blame for what happened, but any friendship/relationship is a two-way street. You're going to hit speed bumps and red lights, but you always keep going. If I could take back what happened I would, although if I did, I can't even picture what our friendship would look like now.
So...
from all of the apologies that I have texted, called, snap chatted, or whatever, I want you to know how sorry I am. I let go of the people that had been there for me for 4+ years. I almost took it as if I was going through a breakup with a boyfriend. The girls that I loved, trusted, and cared about the most slipped right through my fingers and I didn't know what to do. So whether or not you are reading this, I hope you find it sincere. If we run into each other again down the road, all I want is to explain and catch up on everything we have missed the past couple of months. I miss you.
Love,
T
