Dear you,

It's been almost 5 years since we parted ways. In the beginning, I thought that I didn't need you because of your downward spiral into darkness. I saw the light fade from your eyes as we began to grow apart.

I had started to date one of my best guy friends, and I knew from the start that you didn't like him. You kept your mouth shut out of respect and love for me. You the one that brought me out of my shell when I kept going in. You were the one that taught me that it's okay to wear makeup and dress girly through my feminist outlook on life. I always made fun of you for straightening your hair and putting on makeup just to go to the beach.

You were the one that taught me that it's okay to like boys. I was always so anti-anything that I thought was a normal girl thing. You made sure that I was always happy even though you weren't. I could never thank you enough for the woman I became today. I would never forget the adventures you would drag me on, whether it would be outside of Neptune Beach or inside of Neptune Beach. You would be holed up in your house across the ditch.

Our schools were always revivals but we would go to each other's sporting and other school events. I would always say that I was a traitor to my own school. You would say the same. I remembered you being crowned most talented at your high school pageant. I remember getting your song from your talent stuck in my head as you competed the following year with the dance at competitions. I remember when my brother had his first seizure, and you wanted to make sure that he was alright after your pageant.

You were both my little brother's first love and you were the best model for them when they would look for girlfriends. You taught them that it's okay for girls to be gamers and that it's okay for a girl to kick their butts at games. I could never thank you enough for being a positive influence on my brother's life and mine as well. You didn't have an easy life, but I knew you were strong enough to go through your life with grace.

You will always be more of a queen then I would hope to be. Now that I am getting married and I don't have you by my side that it makes me sad. You were my original best friend that stuck with me through hell. You were my first girl crush, and I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable because you know I would never disrespect you. I wish you saw the natural beauty that I saw because I know you didn't.

I'm not going to apologize for my past feelings but I wish that world war 3 fight never happened. I feel like it was meant that we would part but I would love to know what is going on with your life now. You were always fascinating to me regardless of what you refuse to see.

I wish I could undo the past but that doesn't do any good, so I wish you a life full of happiness and positivity. Lord knows you deserve the world.

Love from,

Elizabeth