I have zero qualifications to be speaking on the immigrant struggles, the struggles of coming to America and starting over but my grandmother does. Since my parent’s divorce, I’ve spent more time with my father’s side of the family and seeing people I hadn’t seen since I was in grade school or even younger than that. A lot of the time I’m meeting with them they begin naming a particular memory that I was honestly too young to remember or they just jump right into Tagalog and I have to apologize profusely for not speaking it. One thing never changes though, without fail they commend me on such an amazing pair of grandparents I have. I’m biased of course but I think they’re cooler than anyone I know. They both survived world war two, extreme poverty, and the daunting task of starting a new life in America. I can’t ever repay them for their courage but I can learn from them. In the age of internet and fast Google searches we tend to overlook asking people around us for help. Why would we? We have phones and tablets and laptops that can easily help us access these answers. But there are lessons that we cannot always learn from a quick wiki page. These are three lessons I didn't learn on Google.

Never stop giving:

My grandmother (or Lola in Tagalog) is hands down the best cook in my family. This is food I’ve grown up with and I’m the fondest of eating because it brings back so many memories with just one dish. My grandmother has this habit in which she will eat last because she needs to make sure everyone else has enough. She’s incredibly insistent that you eat at least two plates of food (really it's not even hard to eat two full plates of her food) and try at least all of the dishes at least once. Her heart is so open and so kind that even if you just mention that you enjoy something or like something of hers, she doesn’t even hesitate to give it to you. Every week when it’s time for church she and my grandfather give rides to the people in the community who cannot get to church on their own. Her charity is something I want to live out personally.

Keep Growing:

In the humid island air of the Philippines grows mangos, passion fruits, bananas and so on. Some of these fruits can't be grown in a backyard here the States but my grandmother’s backyard is a jungle of amazing types of fruits like guavas, miniature bananas, pomegranates, and tangerines. That’s just the fruit that she grows, she has a whole section of orchids, I would say at least 20 different pots of orchids and in the very back she has her own garden of eggplants, squash, peppers, and tomatoes. If she could manage a plot of land for eternity I’m pretty sure it would look like the garden of Eden. In the same way that she is tender and loving and caring for her plants she encourages me to do the same in my own life, constantly faithful in all that I do that I may grow. If we all nurtured others the way she does her own plants world peace could be achieved.

Faith and Perseverance:

I think my grandmother is probably one of the toughest women I know. In 1942 the Japanese army invaded the Philippines, one of the more painful stories my grandmother has told is how she and her siblings hid in the rice field patties to escape the Japanese soldiers. She had to cut her hair to look like a boy to avoid the soldiers asking questions. I’ve only heard this story twice, once when I was in middle school and a second time when I was senior in high school I don’t think I could ask her to tell it again. Imagine being younger than ten and running from people who had no respect for you, your country, or your life. For us who are privileged enough in our country to not experience something that terrifying would say it’s the stuff of nightmares and you'd be right; for people like my Lola or in any country experiencing an invasion of another country or a civil war it’s not a far-fetched idea. I asked her if she was scared, “Oh yeah. Of course, I was scared but we prayed. We were all scared. We prayed so hard and they didn’t see us in the rice patties. They walked past us like we weren’t there.” My grandmother is an inspiration to what faith and fear look like in the face of adversity.

I could keep telling stories about my grandmother who will be turning 80 next month but I want to end with this. Each of our elders have stories like this, whether it be about World Wars or how they came to America or what it's as like to grow up in a world where telegrams and letters were a common thing —they each have stories to tell and we as a generation of Google overlook these valuable lessons they have. I hope to challenge you and ask someone older than yourself about stories they have. Fond memories from their twenties, what they did when they first came to America, what college was like for them ask them anything and I promise you that you will have opened a treasure trove of life lessons, warm smiles, and a new appreciation for them in your life.